


When We Get Home

by Girlwithgoggles



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cooking, Crying, Drinking, Drunken Confessions, Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier Have a Dog, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Everyone Is Alive, F/M, Fix-It, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Innuendo, Kissing, Love Confessions, M/M, Marriage, Marriage Proposal, Medical Procedures, Recovery, References to Drugs, Richie Tozier Vomits, Scars, Slightly homophobic character for a second who instantly is taken out by Eddie, Stanley talks about his trauma so self harm is mentioned, There is so much crying like wow, This took a whole year to write sorta please read, Vomiting, surgery scars
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-13
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28042830
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Girlwithgoggles/pseuds/Girlwithgoggles
Summary: After the ambulance whisks Eddie's bloody body away from the crumbling Neibolt house, Richie thinks his life may just have crumbled between his fingers. A single doorbell ring a few months later changes all that.A reimagined ending/continuation to IT Chapter 2 which focuses on how I would have liked to see Reddie become canon. I wrote this fic over the course of an entire year after the second movie came out. I'd sit on my hour subway ride to school and write on my phone in a notes app. I've finally found the time to lay it out the way I want and post it here. This fic has not been formally edited or Beta'd so some parts may be a bit rocky. I hope you enjoy!
Relationships: Ben Hanscom/Beverly Marsh, Bill Denbrough & Mike Hanlon & Ben Hanscom & Eddie Kaspbrak & Richie Tozier & Stanley Uris, Bill Denbrough/Audra Phillips, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier, Patricia Blum Uris/Stanley Uris
Comments: 12
Kudos: 55





	1. Chapter One

Eddie is heavier than he was when he was twelve, but between Mike, Ben and Richie, they managed to pull him out along with them just as the Neibolt house collapsed in on itself and disappeared into a dusty pit of broken wood and brick. The 20 minutes that ensued were the worst minutes of Richie’s life as he waited for the ambulance one of the others had called. 

He’d heard someone say that the ambulance was on its way and then he’d collapsed next to Eddie, taking his blood soaked coat and pushing it hard against the gaping wound. Everything outside of Eddie’s pale face faded to black and Richie half wondered if he was about to pass out.

Once the ambulance arrived Eddie was torn from Richie’s iron grip and pulled into the van on a stretcher. The men who carried him away were fast and it took a moment for Richie’s brain to catch up. As soon as Eddie was out of arm's reach, Richie was on his feet and following. One of the men put a hand out, “only immediate family, sir.” 

Richie’s mouth flapped open and shut, “I’m his- I’m his-“ 

“Sorry sir,” the man turned away and something in Richie’s brain snapped.

“No! Let me come with you please, please let me be with him!” Richie lunged after the retreating paramedic but a hand pulled him back. Richie didn’t even look to see who’d stopped him, he just kept fighting against the grip. 

“Please!! PLEASE- I have to be- he can’t-“

The ambulance was already pulling away. 

“For god's sake Richie! Let him go!”

During their disastrous dinner at the Jade of the Orient, Richie had been able to talk to Bill for a moment while everyone was distracted. He’d told him he was sorry for what he said that day, the day the losers club had broken up for the first time. Bill had shaken it off and told him he was sorry for punching him, that in that moment, the anger and fear and guilt had all caught up with him and he’d seen red. He hadn’t meant to, but as soon as the hot colour flashed in his eyes he just needed to strike, to hurt. 

As soon as those three words left the mouth of the person behind him, Richie understood what Bill had been talking about as his whole world turned a bright, stinging red and he turned and swung. 

Bill stood stunned in front of him, but the punch hadn’t connected as Richie’s arm was held in Ben’s strong grip. 

“Richie...” Ben said calmingly, “it’s okay, we have to let him go to the hospital.”

“But he-“

“If you had caused a fuss, and Eddie had died because he didn’t get treatment soon enough you never would have forgiven yourself,” Bev stepped forward, putting her arm on Richie’s shoulder, rubbing the joint slowly until the muscles there relaxed and his hand dropped back to his side. 

“He could already be-“ 

Bill spoke up quickly, “ambulances won’t take dead bodies Rich.”

Suddenly the whole thing seemed to catch up to him and Richie felt his legs shake. Before he could fall, Ben and Mike were lowering him to the ground gently and Bev was at his side, hand still rubbing his back. 

Richie’s lip trembled, his eyes swam and he began to shake. It felt as if he’d shake apart completely, his insides were vibrating so badly. Tears streamed down his face and a choked sob wracked Richie where he sat, hunched over. Bev’s arm wound around Richie’s shoulder and held him tightly. Bill sat cross legged, right across from his friend, holding his knees so they wouldn’t shake. Ben stooped down on Richie’s other side and took up Richie’s other shoulder, arm wrapping around past Bev’s and holding on tight. 

Mike had been the one to call the ambulance and was just getting off the phone with the woman from the hospital, making sure they had his number in case anything happened in the next few hours. He walked around to Richie’s back, sitting against it, back flat against Richie’s curved shoulders, and he willed that all the strength he had left in his tired body would seep into Richie. 

Richie’s sobs persisted and they didn’t leave the road in front of the empty lot of the Neibolt house for some time. 

—————————

Showering, dressing and forcefully shoving food down your throat is a hard task to complete when you can barely stay awake or keep from vomiting, but Richie managed. He met the rest of the Losers out front of the hotel and they all piled into Bill’s car, Ben, Mike and Bev sitting uncomfortably in the back to allow Richie room to breathe. 

By the time they got to the small hospital just outside of town, Richie looked about ready to jump out of the car, moving or not. 

As soon as they were through the doors, Richie was striding towards the front desk, the rest jogging to keep up. 

“Eddie Kaspbrak. He was just brought in with a chest wound. How is he?” 

The woman behind the desk looked at the assembly of people with shock, “uh, I’m- I’m not sure? I just got on shift, one second- Doris!” 

An older woman dressed in nurse scrubs turned in her chair at the other end of the desk.

She cocked a brow and glanced between the receptionist and the Losers. Richie shifted from one foot to the other. 

“There was a man brought in? Chest wound?” The first woman announced, Doris seemed almost bored. 

“Oh yes, he was taken right into surgery, I believe he’s still in there. I assume you’re the people he was with?” Doris raised her perfectly arched eyebrow even higher and Richie felt his patience running out. 

“Yes, we are his friends-s-s, w-when can we ex-s-s-spect to s-see him out of surgery?” Bill stepped forward, blocking Richie from speaking first, knowing anything out of his mouth wouldn’t be very pleasant. 

Doris glanced at her computer screen for a second before turning in her chair and getting up, “well, I can’t share specifics with non relations, but from the amount of damage... I’d say give them a day.” 

The verdict hung in the air like a balloon ready to pop.

A day. 

“That’s a long ass time. A full fucking day?“ 

At the harshness in Richie’s voice, the woman behind the counter shrunk down, and Doris directed a piercing glare at him.

“You are welcome to wait,” The woman behind the desk said quietly, calmly. 

Richie looked ready for action, his whole body on edge, his arms hovering at his sides, but after a moment longer he deflated completely and went to sit down in the small waiting room. 

Bev, Ben and Bill all followed after Richie, but Mike staled behind, talking on his phone. 

Richie sat in the corner seat, right next to the wall. To his right, Bev and Ben sat, Bev’s head resting on Ben’s shoulder. To his left, Bill sat, hands held loosely in his lap. 

A few minutes later Mike walked back over, putting his phone away. 

“Lot of chit chat over there.” Richie said testily.

Everyone ignored him as Bill spoke up, “who were you c-calling?” 

“Myra, Eddie’s wife. Thought she should know what’s going on.” 

Everyone nodded understandingly. Richie shrunk in his seat, arms folded and head rested on his chest. 

Mike sat down next to Bill. He also looked nervous, his leg was jiggling and he held his head in his hands. 

Everyone settled in for the long haul, speaking quietly to one another or reading the ten year old magazines provided. Bev tried speaking to Richie at one point, but after not reacting to the sound of her voice, or the gentle touch from Ben, they gave up and left him alone. 

After seven hours Bev gave up. She apologized about a million times as Bill handed her the keys to his car and she left with Ben, saying she’d come right back after she took a nap and had something to eat. Bill and Mike reassured her that Eddie would still be there when she got back. That made her eyes swim, but she nodded and exited. 

Mike got them all coffee and chocolate bars from the vending machines down the hall and they continued their wait. The following three hours Richie didn’t touch the chocolate, and only took a few small sips from his coffee. 

Bill asked Mike for his phone so he could call his wife and he was gone for a solid hour. Mike and Richie sat in tense silence. 

When Bill came back, looking tired and somehow more emotionally drained than before, he stopped a nurse passing through and asked for any updates. Once again they were told to wait. 

Around two and a half hours later, the front doors banged open and a very distressed Myra Kaspbrak stormed in. 

“Where is my husband! Where Is my Eddie bear!?”

A nurse rushed to her side. She spoke quietly and soothingly and took Myra through a set of double doors and down a hall. They could still hear her shrieks from the waiting room. 

Abruptly Richie stood up and headed for the exit.

Bill and Mike exchanged glances and followed him quickly. 

They caught up to him in the parking lot heading back towards the main road out. 

“Richie! Where are you going!?” Bill called, taking greater strides to keep up with the taller man. 

“Back to the hotel, and then home.”

Bill put himself bodily in front of Richie and held his hands up placatingly. 

“At two in the morning? Richie, don’t you want to wait for Eddie? He’ll want to see you when he wakes up!”

Richie moved from side to side, trying to dodge around Bill, but Bill moved with him, keeping his arms level, as if to show he meant Richie no harm. Whatever was going on inside Richie’s head, it wasn’t good. 

“Will he? Will he want to see me? I think he’s pretty well taken care of with his mom here now.”

“R-Richie, come on,” Bill’s brow knit.

Richie laughed, but it was tinged with hysteria, “Oh come on, you saw her when she walked in! She was a mirror image of that fa-“

Mike stepped forward, “Richie, stop!”

Richie whipped around so fast that Bill flinched away to avoid Richie’s long limbs from hitting him.

“Mike, you don’t have the right to tell me how to act right now, or ever again frankly.”

“Richie-“ Bill was cut off as Richie kept talking.

“I mean, who called us all here,” Richie stepped towards Mike, jabbing him in the chest. “Who fed us a bunch of mystic bullshit about a way to kill that fucking clown? Who took us all down into the sewers, knowing full well that Eddie was scared out of his mind!” 

Another jab, Mike took a step back, “And who lied about how the ritual worked and almost got us all fucking killed,” Richie was breathing raggedly and Mike wasn’t meeting his eyes, “Stan,” Richie choked on the name, as if he could hardly speak it. 

Richie gulped air before continuing with deadly finality, “Eddie could have died today- still could die today, or tomorrow, or next week... because of you. Do not tell me to fucking stop.”

Mike finally met Richie’s gaze steadily, but the corners of his mouth were pulled taught to stop them from shaking. 

“I’m sorry… Richie I’m so sorry if I could take back everything that’s happened this past week I would, but I-” Mike’s voice cracked for a moment and he swallowed hard.

“Richie. I know you’re mad at me, and you have every right to be. But this isn’t about me anymore, this is about Eddie. Eddie needs you, he needs all of us! And if you storm off because you’re mad, and you leave him alone in there, you’re gonna regret it later.”

Richie was trembling as he tried to control the rage bubbling beneath the surface. He knew Mike was right. He knew he should stay and wait, and that he was being selfish and petty. Richie’s shoulders began to droop. 

Just then, headlights illuminated them as Bill’s car pulled into the spot to the left of where they were standing and Bev and Ben got out. 

“Hey guys, what’s going on?” Bev asked as she helped Ben pop the trunk. Inside we’re Eddie’s two ridiculously large suitcases and the sight of them made Richie’s eyes tear up and his stomach roll and before he could stop it, he was darting to the side and heaving up his merger days meal.

“God fuc-dammit,” Richie gagged as his stomach gave another valiant heave, attempting to shuttle anything that was left out to freedom. 

The shouts of his friends as he dove away drove the last of his anger away and now he just felt sad. Sad and lost and guilty as hell. 

Richie stumbled away from the sad puddle and dropped to his knees on the pavement. It seemed he was making a habit of this.

“I just got him back!” Richie sniffed.

“27 years of missed time! I forgot about him for years in between! I just forgot! I focused on my shitty career and unfulfilling relationships and I filled that hole in the pit of my stomach with other people’s laughter. I only just remembered him and- and now-“ Richie’s eyes were darting around, scanning the area, looking past all his friends' faces. His stomach was empty but it still looked like he was about to throw up again as his face grew steadily paler. In the dark it was hard to make out, but Richie was sweating. 

Mike was the one to approach him first. He slipped an arm under Richie’s and pulled him onto his feet. 

Bill stepped forward, “Richie l-listen to me. Eddie’s not going to die. And you’re g-gonna get the chance to make up for all the lost time.”

Richie’s face screwed up in discomfort, “I won’t... not really...”

“Richie you will I p-prom-“

“Not in the way I want to.”

The group fell silent. Then all at once looks of understanding flashed across their faces.

“Richie...” Bev’s quiet voice only stung at Richie’s frayed nerves and he determinedly kept his eyes skyward. 

“We would have accepted you Richie, you didn’t need to hide!”

Richie scoffed and looked back down to his friends, “maybe, but that didn’t change the fact that everyone else in this shit town would have beat me to shit if they’d found out.”

The somber silence that followed didn’t reassure Richie but as he looked up and met his friends eyes, all he saw was love and understanding. Richie let out a sigh he’d been holding in for years, longer than twenty seven. 

“Alright, let’s fuckin wait for that idiot to wake up.” 

Ben clapped an arm around Richie’s shoulder and, as a group, marched back into the hospital’s small waiting room, much to the chagrin of Doris. 

They slept against one another for five hours total and when they woke up, Ben and Bev had gone and gotten the group coffee and bagels. 

It was another five hours of waiting after that, but this time it was spent talking and laughing. After the day's events, the stress relief they all desperately needed had been put on hold to make sure Eddie didn’t die alone in a sewer. Now however, as they sat around together, all the days hardships were laid out and gone over, humour inserted gently by Richie and Bev and loving remarks added to take the edge off.

They reminisce on the good times they spent together, and each told stories of Stan’s dry humour and whip sharp remarks. Some time around 10 am Richie and Mike went out and picked up a couple pizzas which they all destroyed in under five minutes. The nurses had to tell them numerous times to be quiet, but they never had the heart to kick the group out. 

Ben and Bev held hands the whole time and no one commented. 

At around twelve forty, a Doctor bustled out of the double doors at the opposite end of the waiting room and locked eyes with Bill. The gang, having noticed the doctor as soon as she’d opened the doors, quickly stood up and watched her approach expectantly. 

“Hello, I’m Doctor Neema, I was the head surgeon on Mr.Kaspbrak’s operation.”

“Is Eddie alright?” Bill looked at her, his shoulders were tight with anxiety and all around him the rest of the losers were no better. Richie’s fists clenched. 

Dr.Neema smiled tiredly and nodded, “The surgery was a success, but Mr.Kaspbrak has a long and painful recovery ahead of him. A collapsed lung, six fragmented ribs, major internal bleeding, heart contusion. He survived, but just barely. What was it that impaled him?”

Instantly three voices spoke up offering three different answers.

“A p-pipe.”

“A rebar.”

“Clown arm.”

Dr.Neema looked alarmed and her gaze flicked quickly from one speaker to the next. 

Bill quickly improvised, “S-Sorry, that’s h-how Richie copes-s, ignore him. It was a large piece of metal, it looked like a p-pipe, but it was s-solid, like rebar metal... we don’t know what it was-s, but he fell on it really hard.”

The concerned lines on the doctor's forehead smoothed out and she smiled sympathetically at Richie.

“Whatever metal it was, it missed his spine, but just. If it had been over an inch, or quite frankly half an inch... I don’t think he’d have made it,” Dr.Neema, sensing she had just made the tone very dark, tried to lighten it somewhat. 

“Once he stays in the hospital for a few nights for observation he should be ready to go home! I estimate he’ll have some sort of permanent limb numbness. And he’ll have to learn to do simple tasks again, but I’m sure you’re all up for the task!”

The group smiled and nodded.

“Thank you doc,” Richie said earnestly.

“How is Mrs.Kaspbrak doing?” Bill felt compelled to ask, despite not really caring about the answer. He wondered if that made him a truly awful person.

The doctor's soft smile fell into a strange tight little grimace.

“Mrs.Kaspbrak is incredibly... concerned for her husband and how he’s being treated. She has been very... Insistent that you all do not see him at this time.” 

Her words hung heavily on all of them, Richie snapped out of it first. 

“What the fuck? She can’t do that!”

Dr.Neema’s grimace deepened and she looked truly apologetic as she spoke, “as his main living relative, she is fully in her right to bar anyone she deems... inappropriate as a visitor. I’m truly sorry, I was told you’ve been waiting a long time and that you’re the ones who called the ambulance so I thought you should know his condition, but at this time, you are not allowed back to see him.”

“That fucking b-“ Richie’s crude remark was cut off as the doors to the back banged open and Myra herself stormed out. 

She spotted the group instantly and marched forward, flames danced in her eyes. 

She practically shoved Dr.Neema aside as she got up in Bill’s face, “You people, you people have the nerve to be here still?” 

She was already spitting and Bill took a step back, walking directly into Richie who was an unmoving wall behind him.

“My Eddie Weddie up and left in the middle of the day, missed his noon pills to go meet up with you- with you psychopaths and you almost got him killed!”

“Myra please,” Mike steps forward at this point, simultaneously saving Bill from the brunt of the attack and keeping Richie from doing anything he’d regret. 

“Don’t talk to me like you know me. I am Mrs. Kaspbrak! Eddie Kaspbrak is my husband, mine! And you filthy people tried to take him from me.” At this point she burst into tears and turned away dramatically.

“If I see you anywhere near my Eddie Bear, I’m calling the cops and having you all thrown in jail where you belong.” She waved her finger in all their faces and then with an air of finality, turned and banged through the double doors once more. 

The group stood in stunned silence not knowing what to say, what to do. 

Quietly, Richie repeated his earlier sentiment, “She can’t do this...” 

Quite understandably, the group didn’t know what to do next. They’d held up for so long, sat in that room for a full day waiting for news of if their friend had survived or not, finally got the confirmation and then at the last second, been denied the right to see him. It was beyond frustrating, it was agonizing. 

Richie looked like he was about to have another full blown melt down, Bev was crying silently into Ben’s chest and Mike was shaking badly. Bill decided that the hospital staff had put up with them for long enough. 

“C-come on g-guys. Let’s leave f-f-for now.” 

Bill’s stutter was getting worse by the second, his face felt hot and his eyes stung. He turned and made eye contact with Richie, the one person in the group that would mostly likely cause the most trouble. 

Richie met his gaze and after a tense silence, bowed his head and turned. 

Dr.Neema spoke up sadly, “I’ll give you a call if she changes her mind, I’ll... I’ll try talking to her.” 

Bill smiled tightly, “T-t-thanks-s.”

That night they ate together at a diner close to the hotel. Hardly any words are said, not even by Richie who is always up for cracking jokes at inappropriate times. After dinner they returned to their rooms and went to bed early.

They stayed for a week, in which time they helped Mike pack up all of his belongings and get ready for his move. California bound, Mike was excited to get the hell out of Derry, but once the packing was done on the fifth day, he stalled and made excuses for an extra two days, waiting for a call from the doctor. No call ever came.

In the parking lot of the hotel, bags and boxes packed, the Losers stood in a loose circle. Bill had offered Mike a ride to the airport with him and Mike had accepted gratefully. Bev and Ben had already put their bags in the trunk of Ben’s car and Richie had his one duffle slung over his shoulder, the keys to his red Camaro jingling at his side. 

“Well... I can't say it’s been fun,” Richie states plainly, “but I’m glad we uh-“ He trails off. 

“I’m glad we got to reconnect, even under the worst circumstances...” Bev smiled sadly, squeezing her arm around Ben’s waist. 

“Well I was gonna say ‘didn’t die’, but yeah I guess catching up with you dipshits was pretty alright too,” Richie took a deep breath in, “I’m gonna miss this sweet Derry air.”

The group rolled their eyes and Bev laughed loudly. 

“I’d love for you all to come visit me in England. There’s plenty of room,” Bill smiled at his friends as a round of eager agreements met his ears. 

Everyone stood silently, smiling at one another. No one wanted to be the first to turn away. 

“Well, adios!” Richie said finally, shrugging his duffle more securely onto his shoulder.

He turned to go but an awkward call of his name cut his exit short, he turned back and Bev was smiling comfortingly at him, he felt sweat drip down his back. 

“Richie you know you can call any of us, whenever you want, we’ll pick up!”

Richie shrugged and plastered on a huge grin that he didn’t feel, “you may regret that! Wouldn’t wanna get a call while you and Benny boy are enjoying your alone time together!” He wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Bill groaned quietly. 

Bev rolled her eyes as Ben’s face went bright red. 

“Guys I’m fine, I’ll catch you all later!” Richie turned again and this time walked quicker to his car. 

Behind the wheel and a good mile outside of Derry, Richie let his fake smile drop, and the tears he had been holding back all week fell freely. Eddie hadn’t died, so why did he feel like he’d lost him all over again.


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A surprise guest!

Life went on as normal, only difference being the “Losers” group chat Richie was now a part of. They truly were losers, he thought ruefully as he typed up the bare outline of a new joke he’d been thinking about.

Since everything had gone down, Richie had felt listless and disconnected from standup. Ever since he’d yelled at that fan who’d been quoting “his own” line to him, he’d felt horrible. 

Over the past month and a half, Richie had dismissed his writing team and sat down in front of the computer to write his own material for once. It was extremely hard to focus, and so far he’d only written a page of half jokes with no punch lines, but he already felt a weight lifting off his shoulders. Besides he could live off royalties from his TV specials until he had a new routine to debut.

The group chat pinged and he picked up his phone, welcoming the distraction. 

**Bill D : Everyone ready for next week? We have all the guest rooms and couch set up already, Audra is really excited to meet you all!**

Another ping.

**Bev H : We’re packed already! Ben’s so ready to tour London. He bought a disposable camera.... like, why? I have no clue.**

**Trashmouth : I say you follow the instructions and dispose of it.**

**Ben H : Well excuse you, I think it’s nice to have physical copies.**

**Trashmouth : There’s this thing called an iPhone, shockingly it takes nice enough pictures to print them off.**

**Ben H : Beep Beep Richie.**

**Mike : No no, let him speak!**

It went on like that pretty much constantly. Richie would never type it out and send it, but he was very thankful for his friends constant bickering. It took his mind off the empty hole still digging itself deeper into his chest. 

The doorbell rang. 

Richie jumped up and walked from his office to the front entryway. Usually the pizza guy took more time, but maybe Richie’s constant complaints had finally paid-

Richie opened the door and was met with Eddie Kaspbrak standing on his doorstep. 

Richie didn’t move for a moment, didn’t breath.

“Hey Richie I-“ 

Richie threw his arms around Eddie and pulled him into a tight embrace, crushing the smaller man into him. He let go a second later when Eddie let out a pained wheeze. Eddie steadied himself on the metal cane Richie had just noticed. 

“Sorry I- what’s- why are you- how are you here?” 

It took a moment for Eddie to get his breath back, he held a hand over his chest and breathed in and out slowly, Richie watched concernedly. 

Finally Eddie spoke, “Can I stay with you for a while?”

Richie’s whole world bloomed and he had a hard time keeping the stupidly wide grin from showing on his face, “yeah of course man!”

Eddie coughed and quietly thanked him. 

Richie’s heart was beating out of his chest, he couldn’t tell if he wanted to cry, throw up, or jump around the room screaming. Richie watched his friend as he limped into his apartment and started looking around curiously. 

“Sooo, is it a permanent thing? Or are you going back in a few days.” 

Eddie looked pained for a moment and Richie got the distinct impression it didn’t have anything to do with his wounds. 

Eddie sighed and collapsed into one of Richie’s plush armchairs, leaning his cane against the arm. He’d been eyeing it ever since Richie opened the door, and now that his long spur of the moment, five and a half hour plane ride, crazy, no good idea had played through, well... Eddie was just tired. 

“When I was well enough to be awake for more than five minutes at a time I asked for you... you guys... wanted to know where you all were. Myra just kept saying I didn’t have to worry about you anymore. That freaked me the fuck out, but I was too fucking weak to do anything about it so I just let her take me home.” Eddie relaxed back into the chair, he could already feel his eyelids drooping. Richie sat down in the chair across from him and leaned forward to look closer at Eddie. 

“What finally made you snap?”

Eddie sighed, “I was getting out of bed this morning... and Myra hadn’t given me my pain meds yet, and I dunno, my head felt really fucking clear for once. I got this rush of energy and before I knew it I was out the door. Booked a plane ticket and transferred my hospital files to a hospital over here on my phone while in the taxi. I just... left.”

Richie’s mouth hung open, shocked and slightly impressed, “Shit- Myra just let you leave? That doesn’t sound like something she’d do.”

Eddie looked anywhere but at Richie and Richie’s smile dropped, “Shit did you kill her? Because you know I’ll cover for you but I’m pretty famous and there are a lot of cameras on me-”

“I didn’t fucking kill her you fucking asshole! I just told her I wanted a fucking divorce and then walked out.”

Richie was debating whether to act sorry for him or to cheer loudly, but at that exact moment the doorbell rang. 

Eddie’s head snapped up so fast, Richie was afraid he’d hurt his neck.

“It’s just the pizza, Jesus.” Richie stumbled out of his seat in his haste to show Eddie whatever he was scared of wasn’t on the other side of the door. As soon as the door opened and the pubescent boy had handed over the box, gawking blatantly at Richie, Eddie settled back in the chair and looked more tired than he had when Richie had opened the door to him less than half an hour ago. 

Dinner that night was uncomfortably quiet and awkward. Richie tried cracking a few jokes, but Eddie only responded by tiredly cussing him out, chewing his pizza slowly. Richie could tell Eddie was about to collapse so he cut dinner short and led Eddie down the hall to his bedroom. 

Eddie paused in the door and looked confused for a moment before turning and fixing Richie with a hard stare. 

“I’m not sleeping with you Richie.”

A grin spread across Richie’s face, “Aww Eds, but we could cuddle!!” 

A second of awkward silence passed where Richie realized the joke didn’t fully land in Eddie’s sleep deprived brain and his friend's face twisted into one of shock. 

“I’m fucking joking. You’re sleeping in here because my spare room is currently my office. I’ll sleep on the couch.” 

Eddie looked like he was about to play the “oh I couldn’t possibly take your bed from you,” card, but then he nodded and turned into the room. Richie was glad, he didn’t feel like arguing at the moment. 

Richie followed Eddie into the room and rooted around in his drawers, looking for something that might fit the smaller man. He came up with a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt that were a little newer so hopefully they hadn’t been stretched out as much. Richie was hyper aware of Eddie standing behind him and when he turned and ended up a little closer than he expected, he took a nervous step back. 

“You didn’t bring anything, right?”

“Too much of a hurry...” Eddie took the bundle gingerly, “I’ll get my things from Myra when I have the papers ready...” he trailed off then, and gazed up at Richie.

Richie gazed right back, taking in his friend's face. Eddie’s cheek from where Bowers had stabbed him was all healed over, a thin, puckered scar left behind, surprisingly the stitches still remained. Memories from their childhood together flashed through Richie’s mind, but he couldn’t think of a single one where Eddie had looked so tired or so weak.

“Good night Eds,” At Eddie’s non reaction to the nickname, Richie’s stomach tightened and he turned and left. Eddie shut the door with a soft click, and Richie retreated down the hall to the living room where he collapsed onto the couch. 

Richie’s brain was buzzing and he couldn’t centre his thoughts. Anxiety and overwhelming joy warred for dominance in his mind and Richie felt that he’d be pulled apart. 

On one hand, Richie was the happiest he’d been in at least a month, probably longer if he was being honest with himself. Eddie was here. He’d come to Richie, he wanted to stay with Richie. The thought made the hair on Richie’s arms stand on end and his eyes glaze over. Since he left Derry, this type of unadulterated joy and excitement hadn’t come easily or at all. Now that Eddie was here, Richie could finally start trying to make up for lost time. Maybe not in the way he wanted to, but he could at least start to get to know him again. He craved that deep friendship they had as children. 

On the other hand, Eddie was still hurt and still healing and he chose to leave the safety of his home on his own to get here. Something about that didn’t sit right. Richie was loath to admit, but Myra was probably the best nurse Eddie could have asked for. Overbearing to an uncomfortable and unhealthy degree sure, but if Eddie had even been in pain for a second, Myra would have called the doctors or shoved meds down Eddie’s throat. Richie was already having panic sweats over the possibility that he could fuck up and cause Eddie more pain. He already had, when he’d hugged the air right out of Eddie’s damaged lungs. 

Richie groaned and rubbed a hand down his tired face, he laid back on the couch, trying to get comfortable. 

“Your friend with a horrible chest wound comes to your door and your first instinct is to crush him in your arms. Nice going, asshole...” Richie rolled onto his side. He stared at the armchair that Eddie had occupied and then rolled onto his other side so he was facing the back of the couch. His knees didn’t fit this way so he flopped uselessly onto his back again. 

He grabbed his phone off the table and opened up a browser and typed in “recovery after major surgery.”

Instantly the featured answer popped up at the top of the screen and Richie’s eyes widened. 

“You may be able to enjoy your love life soon after surgery, but it depends on the kind of operation you had. For example, if it was in your pelvic area, we do not recommend-” 

Richie deleted the browser and threw his phone back onto the table, face flaming. 

He managed to fall asleep some time before one am which meant he missed the muted whimpers from his bedroom. 

—————————

Richie usually rolled out of bed around noon, but that day he was up bright and early. It was mostly because his back was protesting from sleeping curled up on the too small couch, but also because he wanted to make Eddie breakfast. 

Eggs and toast made and plated, Richie sauntered down his hallway and knocked on his bedroom door. 

“Eddie my sweet, care to dine upon the culinary masterpiece I have prepared for you this morning?” 

After a few moments of quiet scuffling, the door creaked open and all the bravado was swept from Richie’s chest in a single breath. Eddie stood there, toes just barely poking out of the bottoms of Richie’s too long sweatpants, waistband tied into an adorable bow to fit his slender hips. Richie’s t-shirt mostly fit length wise, but the seam of the shoulders hung farther down on Eddie’s upper arm. The V of the neckline, which Richie swore he hadn’t known he’d given him, showed off the entirety of Eddie’s collar bone. 

Richie’s mind went blank, “...fuck.”

Eddie’s tired eyes focused on Richie as soon as the strangled swear passed his lips and his brow shot up, “what?”

Richie wasn’t sure if his blush was visible in the darkened hallway and he prayed it wasn’t, “you look fucking ridiculous!” 

“Fuck you!” Eddie erupted and hobbled past Richie on his cane and into the open kitchen and dining area. 

Richie collected himself before following. 

“We’ll have to get you clothes that actually fit, I can go shopping if you give me your measurements?” 

Eddie sat at the island counter, slowly attempting to shovel a fork full of eggs into his mouth. Eddie’s hand trembled, but he was managing, so Richie didn’t offer to spoon feed him. He sensed Eddie wouldn’t have taken kindly to the offer. 

Eddie fixed Richie with a distrustful stare, “I am not leaving my clothing choices up to you, you’re gonna buy me some ugly ass multi coloured shit.” 

“Scouts honour I will,” Richie clasped a hand over his heart and a grin played across his face. 

Eddie looked like he was about to shoot back a scathing reply, but he was cut off as a groan erupted from his throat. Back hunched and hand clasped at his chest, Eddie’s eyes shut tightly. Richie’s teasing mood dried up like a turd in the sun. 

“What is it, what's wrong?? I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it!!” 

Eddie shook his head and managed to gasp out a single word, “jacket.” 

Richie bolted for his bedroom and flipped on the lights. His eyes leaped around the room until he located Eddie’s fraying, green jacket, laying across Richie’s dresser. As he scooped it up it set off about a thousand little pills rattling in their bottles and Richie ran back into the kitchen and to Eddie who had his head rested on the marble countertop. 

“Eds I’ve got them, what do you need?”

Richie dumped the contents of the pockets and righted them all so their labels were facing him.

“All of them.” Eddie responded through gritted teeth and slowly sat up, he reached for the first bottle

Richie proceeded to watch Eddie take ten pills, washing them all down at once with a swig of the orange juice Richie had put out. He then sat back, eyes closed, hands still clasped over his chest. 

All the grasping at his chest had pulled the V of the shirt even lower and Richie could distinctly see where the hole had been, the stitched in sutures pulling the skin together in a mess of blotchy skin and jagged edges. Richie felt a little indignant, the surgery had taken a whole day to complete and that had been the best they could do? Richie would be the first to admit that the scar looked badass, but still, it was messy.

“What’s the damage Eds?” Richie’s voice was quiet, barely above a whisper. 

Eddie sighed shakily and finally opened his eyes, he looked tired, “the pills are for the pain, but also infection, and keeping my blood the correct consistency or some shit.. I don’t really know,” Eddie laughed bitterly.

“For the first time in my life, the pills I’m taking are actually doing something for me and I don’t even know what the hell some of them are for. Myra took control of getting the prescriptions and giving them to me,” Eddie groaned and lifted the bottom of his shirt, revealing the entirety of his abdomen. 

Richie knew the situation was inappropriate, but he couldn’t help but notice the gentle firmness of Eddie’s stomach, softly defined ab muscles standing out slightly. Richie could see a few more stitched up scars running the edge of the rib cage, where no doubt they’d had to do incisions to extract and replace the shattered rib fragments. Attached to Eddie’s side through a thin tube was a small pouch. It was taped against him and the spot where the tube entered his body was also heavily taped down. The pouch was plastic and seemed to be empty. 

Richie’s nose screwed up, “What is that thing?” 

Eddie looked down and glared at the small pouch, “it’s a drain, it’s getting rid of extra fluid and tissue from the surgery.” 

Richie felt his stomach roll but he nodded and hummed like it didn’t affect him. It wasn’t even the idea of the drain that bothered him the most, it was the thought that Eddie had to go through all of that, still had to go through it. It made him feel sick. 

“It sorta looks... empty? Is that supposed to happen?” 

Eddie nodded and let his shirt drop, “it’s been a month... over a month actually. I’m supposed to go back to the doctors in a few days and have all my stitches and the drain taken out.”

Richie raised his eyebrows incredulously, “you chose a pretty shit time to leave home idiot.” 

Eddie glared hard, “fuck you, I can get myself to the fucking hospital.” 

“Oh hell no, I’m driving you.” 

Eddie struggled for a second before deflating, “yeah that’d be nice...” 

“And you’re resting while I get you clothes,” Richie said firmly. 

Eddie picked up a miserable bit of egg with his fingers and popped it in his mouth, “please nothing neon...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and likes are always appreciated!


	3. Chapter Three

After leaving Eddie with his number and the number of the very nice, old lady who lived next door, Richie hopped in his car and sped off to the nearest mall.

Richie wasn’t a huge shopper. His clothing style was comfortable and tailored to his tastes. A fun button up, a jacket and some jeans were his idea of fancy dress. Of course he had a full suit, but he hadn’t worn it in years, he doubted it still fit. 

Walking into the store Richie was immediately assaulted by Polo. Each mannequin was decked out in Polo’s of varying colours matched with a khaki pant. Richie glared and silently thanked any Gods out there that Eddie hadn’t come along. 

Richie wandered down the isles, picking out various t-shirts and pants, flipping through the stacks until he’d found the right sizes. Richie tried to stay within Eddie’s perimeters, but it was really hard when there were so many ugly options to dress him in. 

Richie saw a display of Henley shirts and immediately grabbed two, blushing slightly. He came upon the sock and underwear section next and his repressed mayhem suddenly had an outlet. He meticulously picked out the weirdest and ugliest underwear packs he could find, and added seven pairs of differently coloured weed socks to his growing pile of clothing. As he was checking out he noticed a rack of bomber style leather jackets with large collars and impulsively snatched one up. It looked warm...

Embarrassingly, the whole excursion had filled Richie with a domestic sort of excitement. Lovingly picking out your husband's clothing... Boyfriend! Richie corrected internally, and then almost tripped on his own feet. 

“Friend. He’s just a friend,” Richie said aloud and thankfully no one payed him any mind. Richie drove straight back and with three large bags weighing him down, opened the front door. Eddie was dozing on the couch with the tv on low volume. As soon as Richie closed the door, he woke with a start, glancing up at Richie with wide eyes. 

“Just me!” 

Eddie relaxed into the couch again, “holy shit dude, how much did you get?” 

“A butt load Edwardo, it’s fashion show time!” 

Eddie looked mad, but he also didn’t say a word as he got up and snatched the bags from Richie. 

“I see neon! You son of a bitch!!” Eddie’s hand sliced through the air to punctuate his sentence.

“Relax dude, it won’t show, just go make sure everything fits! And change your clothes you look like a fuckin—“ Richie trailed off, not able to think of an insult good enough when Eddie looked so damn cute, “just fucking change...”

Eddie squinted at him but left with the three bags.

Richie sat on the couch to wait. He only heard a few groans which he assumed were directed at the socks and underwear, so far it was going pretty well. 

Eddie came out half an hour later in jeans, a light salmon coloured t-shirt and a pair of the least offensive socks, black and neon teal, weed leaves lovingly stitched on. Richie beamed at his friend, and Eddie only gave him a slight squint this time.

“The clothes are actually pretty nice, thank you,” Eddie held up the bomber jacket and raised an eyebrow, “This I’m not sure about though.” 

Richie’s face flushed. In reality, a lot of the clothes he’d picked out he’d just thought Eddie would look hot in. He had a crush, sue him. Richie had been hoping Eddie would choose one of the Henley shirts, but that was for another day he supposed. 

“It’ll be warmer than your old one, and it has bigger pockets for all your pills! Plus,” Richie’s monkey brain wasn’t slowing down, “you’ll look fuckin hot-“ pull up, pull up idiot, “the chicks really dig the bad boy look.”

Eddie went on a facial journey that Richie couldn’t quite follow and finally quietly replied, “I just left my wife dickwad...” it sounded lame, even for Eddie’s standards.

Richie’s monkey brain wasn’t done yet, and to cover up for his blunders thus far, he decided to continue on with his teasing, “Aw come on Ed’s, don’t tell me you don’t wanna get yourself a new germaphobe gal, you two could get all hot’n heavy, cleaning your apartment three times a day! Plus, now you’ve got that sick scar, the chicks really dig a bada—“ 

“Shut the fuck up.” Eddie cut Richie off so loudly and abruptly that Richie actually took a small step back. 

“Would you just shut the fuck up? I don’t want another fucking girl,” Eddie’s face was red and his fists were clenched. The hand holding his cane shook so badly, Richie thought he may fall over. He glared steadily at Richie, a long silence stretched. Finally all the fight seemed to go out of him and his hands relaxed, cane steadying, “I’m going to take a shower.” 

And with that, he left.

Richie really was trash. 

—————————

Richie stood at the kitchen island later that night cooking dinner. His mind hadn’t left the exchange since it happened and he kept cringing inwardly every time he thought about what he’d said. Eddie was clearly not done with his wife. He made it perfectly clear that he didn’t want to move on, to find another girl, and that just cemented the knowledge that Eddie would be returning to Myra at some point. Richie’s eyes stung and he stubbornly blamed it on the onions he was chopping. 

Eddie’s shower lasted for around an hour and Richie had just started getting nervous that Eddie had slipped getting in when the door had quietly opened and Richie’s bedroom door opened and closed. After that, Eddie was silent and kept in the room for the rest of the day. Richie tried to get work done; he cleaned and tidied his apartment, went out and got that detergent he’d been desperately needing for a month now, even sat down and attempted to write some more jokes. Not that anything he’d write right now would be funny. Every time Richie thought he’d heard a noise from his room his ears would perk and he’d pause whatever he was doing. It was six o’clock and Eddie still hadn’t exited the room. 

The chicken sizzled in the pan, onions browned lightly and the warm buttery glaze popped slightly. It smelled delicious, Richie felt like puking. 

When the meal of chicken, corn and rice was truly prepared and plated, and Richie couldn’t stall any longer, he mustered up all his courage and nonchalance and knocked at his bedroom door, “Dinner’s ready, Eddie.” 

He flinched, would Eddie be bothered by the alliteration, would he think he was joking around again, would he still be angry if he- 

Eddie opened the door, he was wearing one of the henley shirts and he gave Richie a very contrite look, “sorry for being bitchy... Richie...”

Richie’s eyes swam again but he held it back once more and contained the desire to hug the man in front of him as hard and tight and long as he could. 

Instead he gave Eddie’s non injured cheek a playful smack, “no harm, no fowl.” 

Eddie walked after him to the table and upon seeing the chicken laid out, gave Richie a dry look, “Was that a pun?” 

Richie pulled out Eddie’s seat for him on his way to his side of the table, “perhaps...”

Eddie huffed a laugh and sat down. 

Richie was already scarfing down his portion of rice when he noticed Eddie wasn’t eating. He stared at his food, hand held loosely around his knife and fork. They were shaking.

“Aren’t you going to eat?” 

“Fuck off I will!”

“What’s wrong? I cooked the chicken extra well, there shouldn’t be any pink at all... I can pop it in the microwave if you want!?”

After a very long pause, in which Richie didn’t think Eddie was going to answer at all, Eddie sighed and pushed back in his chair. 

“I- I can’t cut up food too good at the moment.... Myra usually does it for me... she’d hand feed me too” he gives a little shudder at that, undoubtedly remembering the countless hours of babying he endured. 

Richie stood instantly and walked around the table, stopped by Eddie’s plate and cut the chicken into small, mouth sized bites. Once he was done he took his seat again and picked up his knife and fork. He didn’t say a thing while he did and neither did Eddie. 

Eddie stared at his chicken, a strange look in his eyes. Richie couldn’t read it.

“What? Do you actually want me to feed you?”

“No,” Eddie started eating hurriedly.

Richie would have. 

—————————

After dinner they decided to watch a movie before bed. Richie suggested countless horror and action films, that being the majority of his film collection that he hadn’t already watched to death, and after a lot of fussy evasion, Eddie finally settled for Train to Busan. 

Richie sat back to watch the film that was newly added to his collection. He’d seen it once before and loved it, so he was just hoping for some easy escapist horror. After the ordeals he’d gone through in Derry, Richie had found horror movies to be somewhat relaxing. It wouldn’t have made a lick of sense to anyone he told, but the knowledge that he was watching something fake, something CGIed and brought to life through special effects was comforting. He liked to watch behind the scenes footage after he’d watched the movie, to see the actors laughing and pretending alongside their onscreen enemies. 

They were just getting to the introduction of the virus on the train, not even close to halfway into the film when Richie realized something was wrong. 

He’d already seen Eddie flinch a few times while he was here. When the pizza had been delivered for example. But now, glancing out of the corner of his eye, Richie saw something much worse. 

He’d seen it that day in the Neibolt house as well, just before Stan’s arachnid head had dropped down on him. Eddie’s back was stiff against the couch cushions and it looked like he was holding his breath. His eyes were wide and his hands were in a death grip on his lap. 

Richie’s whole world zeroed into sharp focus on Eddie as the infected woman attacked the attendant and he saw the moment when Eddie flinched away, his nails dug into the palms of his hands, and a broken gasp escaped his lips. With horror, Richie realized why Eddie was being so picky.

As naturally as Richie could act with his heart beat going this fast, Richie grabbed the remote and paused the movie. 

“God,” Richie groaned loudly, Eddie jumped beside him, “I’m so sick of this movie I’ve watched it like six times already... Sorry, do you mind if we watch something else?” 

Eddie’s shoulders still weren’t relaxing but he nodded nonchalantly enough and Richie practically dove for his comedy folder. He flipped through more than ten pages of movies. Richie’s mind raced through each plot line as he looked at the covers and gave up after Hot Fuzz. Richie groaned.

He sat back on the couch and grabbed the remote, switched the tv over to Netflix and opened the search bar, Eddie a silent, nervous presence at his shoulder, “You know John Mulaney?”

Eddie gave him a flat look, “of course I do.”

Richie beamed and selected one of Mulaney’s specials, “we’re pals!”

Eddie’s eyebrows rose, “no fuckin way dickwad.”

“Ah, yee of little faith Edward.”

“Don’t call me that, I don’t fuckin believe you!”

“We were on an episode of SNL together!”

Eddie’s eyes seemed to sparkle but he still didn’t look convinced. 

Richie grinned and paused the video. He opened YouTube instead and typed in his name, SNL and hit search. He clicked the first link and let it play through 

As soon as Richie appeared on screen standing next to John, Eddie yelled at the screen, “No fucking way!” 

“Yes fucking way!” He sat back and watched Eddie’s face as his clips from the episode played out. Richie played a man named Stefon and John played his ‘piss artist’ (whatever the hell that was), friend. Eddie was laughing before the first clip even finished.

“Fuck man, you’re breaking every other line!” Eddie’s shoulders had relaxed, Richie melted back into the couch.

When the bit with Seth Myers came on Richie felt his heartbeat quicken. He’d forgotten he’d done this and now with Eddie sitting far too close to him he wasn’t sure if he could watch. 

“Kiss me I’m Irish?”

“Well if you insist.”

Richie kept his eyes down. Eddie hadn’t laughed, he hadn’t made a single noise. Richie glanced up and froze. Eddie had a very strange emotion playing out on his face and Richie couldn’t tell what it was. He wasn’t disgusted, but he didn’t look happy either. He almost looked annoyed which didn’t quite put Richie at ease. 

When all the clips had played out, Eddie turned to Richie and smiled, “Dude that was actually really impressive! I watched SNL whenever I could on my lunch breaks but I don’t think I ever saw you.”

“Or you didn’t remember me. Why on lunch break?” 

Eddie flushed, “Myra doesn’t like the show, she thinks it’s inappropriate.” 

Richie burst out laughing, “I mean it is I guess, but like, for a 12 year old. How repressed are you dude?”

Eddie glared at Richie, but his face was getting redder, “Myra didn’t let me watch a lot of shit because she thought it was inappropriate...” 

Richie could barely contain his laughter, “Like what?” 

“I missed Breaking Bad, she didn’t like zombie or horror in general so no Walking Dead, she tried to delete our Netflix account after Hannibal came out, man I had to lock her out!” 

Richie burst. He laughed so hard he doubled over and grabbed at the couch in front of him for support. Only, the couch wasn’t in front of him, Eddie was. As soon as Richie’s hand clasped around Eddie’s knee, Eddie jumped bodily away. Richie sat back instantly, laughter forgotten, “oh shit, did I hurt something?”

“I- I- No it’s not I-,” Eddie rubbed a hand over his knee a few times and then stood up, “yeah, I’m actually in pain right now. I think I’m going to head to bed.” 

Richie stood as well, “jeez, sorry Eds. Yeah of course, I’ll clean up.”

Eddie grumbled about the nickname as he grabbed his cane and limped out of the room.

As soon as Eddie was safely in Richie’s room with the door shut Richie fell back onto the couch, face burning. 

“Fuuuuuuuuuccckkkk,” Richie grabbed a pillow and smacked his head against it several times.


	4. Chapter Four

After his small panic attack had passed, Richie’s mind floated back to the events of the evening and tried to make sense of them all. 

So Eddie wasn’t just scared of slamming doors and sudden movements, he was scared of everything. Richie got it, he did. After he’d gotten home, the neighbour next door had invited him to a party they were throwing. He’d had a nervous breakdown and ran out of the apartment screaming after he saw the red balloons they’d chosen to decorate with. 

They all had trauma, but Eddie almost died. Eddie almost died and then was stuck with an overprotective wife who wouldn’t let him see his friends. Richie didn’t think he’d have survived the last month and a half without the group chat constantly streaming out distractions and support from his friends. 

Friends that still thought Eddie was off limits. Richie grabbed his phone off the table and opened the group chat. 

**Trashmouth : Eddie is with me-**

Richie deleted the text and put his phone down. He was about to tell them that he’d bring Eddie with him when he went to England, but he wasn’t even sure if Eddie would still be with him at that point. He might already have gone back to sort things out with Myra... Richie rubbed his tired eyes and set about cleaning the living room and kitchen. 

CD cases stacked back by genre, dishes done and beer cans thrown out, Richie headed back for the couch. He sat down and listened carefully for any signs of movement from his room, but Eddie was making no noise. Good, Richie thought, he’s asleep. 

They’d be making the trip to the hospital in the morning and Richie wanted Eddie to be as well rested as possible before he had to get a tube taken out of his body.

Richie laid back and tried to get comfortable. He had a nice couch, but ‘nice’ didn’t equal ‘made for sleeping’. He was just getting comfortably situated, arm tucked under his head and knees pulled in so his legs would fit on the couch, when he heard a noise. 

His ears perked and his eyes focused on the blurry room around him. He’d taken off his glasses. 

After another minute, he heard it again, this time more clearly. A whimper. He sat up, scrambled to get his glasses on his nose and locked his eyes on his bedroom door. 

Richie waited, heart pounding, until he heard another noise, only this one made his blood run cold. A panicked yell broke the silence of the apartment and Richie jumped up immediately. He ran to his door and threw it open, flooding the room with the light from the hall. It pooled over Eddie’s supine form in his bed. He was twisting and turning, clutching at the blankets for dear life. 

Richie felt his heart squeeze uncomfortably and he walked over to Eddie’s side. He dropped to his knees by the side of the bed and carefully shook Eddie’s shoulder. After a hard squeeze and a harsh whisper of his name, Eddie’s eyes flew open and he ripped away from Richie’s grip, gasping. 

“Whoa, Eddie, it’s just me! Hey! Calm down!” 

Eddie’s wide eyes flew around the room for a few seconds before they locked on Richie. They looked bloodshot, even in the dark and he didn’t blink for a solid minute. Finally, his shoulders slumped slightly, the shallow breaths didn’t let up however and Richie’s concern grew. 

“S-sorry Myra’s a really heavy sleeper, she doesn’t usually...”

Richie tried to plaster on a grin, “you can say that again.” 

Eddie gave Richie a long silent glare. Richie’s smile dropped and he rolled his eyes. “Okay, just shut up about Myra for once okay?”

He walked around to the other side of the bed and got in beside Eddie. He lay on his back, hands folded on his stomach, and after a moment of silence where Eddie hadn’t moved or said a thing, he glanced over. Eddie’s face was unreadable. He gazed straight forward, eyes occasionally darting down to meet Richie’s, hands shaking in his lap. His mouth was set in a hard line and his brows were furrowed. 

“What?” Richie said defensively. He’d only laid down because if Eddie had another nightmare he could be right there, but now Richie wondered if this had been the right move, and if Eddie would feel more uncomfortable with him here. 

Before Richie’s brain could derail further, Eddie sighed shakily, laid back down in bed and pulled the covers up over the both of them. A few minutes of silence followed. Richie lay quietly in the dark room, glasses still perched on his nose. He could hear Eddie’s breathing, ragged and quick, but he didn’t have any other idea of how to calm him down. When Richie was a child and he’d had a nightmare his mother would draw him into her lap and stroke his hair, rock back and forth, and sing softly. Richie almost snorted at the thought of doing that to Eddie right now, he’d probably get punched. 

Richie was just about to take off his glasses and roll over when something brushed very lightly against Richie’s hip. Richie froze, wondering if it had been a fluke. Not brave enough to turn his head and look at Eddie, Richie stayed still. Another second passed and it happened again, it was definitely a finger. 

Very slowly, as if not to spook Eddie, Richie moved his hand from his stomach to his side; palm up, and waiting. The next time the finger came searching over, it met Richie’s hand and stayed there for a moment. Richie’s eyes were wide in the dark, breath held, heart racing. 

Then Eddie’s whole hand followed and he knitted his fingers between Richie’s in a loose hold. They lay there on their backs, hands held loosely together between them on the bed. After a full minute Richie gave a small squeeze and he instantly felt Eddie’s body relax. 

Eddie fell asleep first, Richie could hear his breathing even out and after a few minutes of listening to the steady breathing, and feeling Eddie’s pulse against his wrist, Richie dropped off too. 

Richie woke up with red marks pushed into his face from his glasses but he didn’t care. 

—————————

The next morning was a mad scramble. The night before was the last thing on either of their minds as they dashed around Richie’s apartment, making sure Eddie had all his necessary files on his phone, calling the hospital to make sure he was still booked in for the day and dumping the various pill bottles into Richie’s bag. At one point Eddie almost choked when swallowing his pills but dodged away from Richie as he came over to thump Eddie on the back. 

“You don’t- I’m fucking tender man! I don’t want the wind knocked outta my shitty lungs before they take out this fucking tube.”

Richie backed up and looked around sheepishly. He didn’t quite know what to do since Eddie was the one that knew all the details. Richie was just the taxi service. He waited by the door as Eddie did a final sweep of himself in the mirror and joined Richie. Eddie had picked out a simple blue t-shirt and dark jeans. In the least sexual way possible, Richie desperately wanted to see what underwear Eddie was wearing, but he didn’t dare ask. Eddie pulled on the leather jacket and swept past Richie out the door. 

“Hurry up!” 

—————————

The drive to the hospital was quick and finding parking was surprisingly easy. They made it fifteen minutes before Eddie’s appointment was due, which naturally meant they had a whole hour to wait. Blessedly the waiting room wasn’t mobbed either, so they found two empty seats in the corner and sat down. 

For the second time in too short a time Richie was stuck in an uncomfortable waiting room chair. Granted, he much preferred this scenario to the one he’d endured in his last visit, but the depressing feeling was still lingering forcefully enough for Richie’s mood to drop. Richie didn’t notice that it was showing on his face until Eddie spoke up.

“Hey,” Eddie’s leg bumped against his and Richie leapt in his seat. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you, man? You look like you’re about to either cry or shit.” 

Richie sat up straighter and turned in his seat to stare at Eddie. For a brief moment, Richie considered lying, telling Eddie he was just hungry and escape to the food court for a short breather. Instead, Richie fidgeted in his seat and rubbed his hand over the arm of the chair, “last time I was in a waiting room it was during your surgery.” 

There was a pause as the words registered to Eddie and then a small, “Oh” greeted Richie’s ears. 

“Yeah, ‘oh’. Anyways, it doesn’t really matter, this is different.” 

Apparently Richie wasn’t convincing enough because now Eddie turned bodily in his seat to face Richie completely, his knees pressed against Richie’s left leg where it bounced.

“Richie.”

Richie sighed, “I’m fine, I’m serious. You shouldn’t be the one asking if I’m okay!” 

“Richie!” 

“What?” At the tone of his voice Richie’s head snapped up to look at Eddie. Eddie’s hand sat, palm up, on the arm rests of their two chairs. His fingers wiggle slightly and Eddie’s face tinged pink. 

“oH-,” Richie’s voice cracked so terribly that he shut his mouth instantly and took Eddie’s hand in his. Eddie swivelled straight in his chair and sat back. Then, quite violently, dropped his head onto Richie’s shoulder. Richie sat ramrod straight, wondering if any of the brains that were melting out of his head would get in Eddie’s hair.

Was this okay? Could they just do this now? Could they do this all the time now, please? Or was Eddie just looking to comfort Richie, or himself?? Or could this be more than friendly? Did he just want to hold his hand? If he had just wanted to rest his head, the hand holding wouldn’t have been necessary, right? Come to think of it, there was a whole ass wall behind them, Eddie could have just rested his head against the wall if- no idiot, the wall is uncomfortable.

Eddie shifted slightly, moving closer to Richie in his chair. His head was now tucked into the crook of Richie’s neck, hair tickling at Richie’s throat. 

What is happening. What the literal fucking shit balls is going on? Am I being gay and dramatic right now or is Eddie... cuddling me? But it’s platonically cuddling no doubt. 

Richie’s inner monologue was a mess of excited thoughts and questions, but the memory of their argument resurfaced. 

“I don’t want another fucking girl,” Eddie’s angry, red face swam in Richie’s memories and Richie’s excitement shrunk. 

“So uh,” Richie cleared his throat in a desperate attempt not to have another voice crack, “did you have a good sleep last night?” 

Eddie’s hand squeezed Richie’s and he nodded against his shoulder, “yeah it was really good. Best I’ve had in awhile.” 

“Oh good, nice...” now Richie was even more confused, “and, uh.... I guess after all this is sorted out.... you’ll.... want to go home and try to talk to Myra...?”

Eddie’s response was immediate, his head popped off Richie’s shoulder as he spoke, “God no. Fuck no. What in the hell gave you that idea!?” 

“Well I mean... you made it clear that you didn’t want anyone else... I just kinda assumed you were gonna go back to talk things out with Myra.”

“When the hell did I say I didn’t want anyone else?”

“Two days ago man, when I was... I was teasing you, remember? And I said chicks dug guys in leather coats or some bullshit like that and you said you didn’t want another girl,” Richie was truly lost.

Eddie’s face was flushing darker by the second as his eyebrows hiked up his forehead, “that is... not what I meant by that, at all.”

“Oh... ok...” Richie nodded stiffly, he felt like his head was about to split open, “well... what did you mean then? You want to be alone?” 

Eddie brought his hands to his head and massaged roughly, “no....” 

Richie sat silently, leg almost jiggling off the floor. He waited. 

Eddie groaned and then looked up at Richie with the most pained expression on his face, Richie started to reach for the pill bag. 

“I meant a dude okay.” 

“A DUDE?!” Richie’s mouth hung ajar and his eyebrows blew high. No way. No fucking way. Richie was about to pass out. Hope blazed to life like a dry forest catching fire.

“Fucking quiet asshole!!” At Richie’s exclamation, multiple people looked over and the receptionist shot them a dirty look.

“I’m sorry, that’s just uhh... a surprise! A revelation!” 

Eddie shrunk back in his chair looking sullen, “okay, alright, don’t mock me Richie...” 

Richie’s extatic reverie was cut short at those words and he sobered up, “Eddie I’m not mocking you. I’m not. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. And-“ Richie choked on his words but quickly plucked up the courage at Eddie’s uncertain expression, “and I never told you but uh… I’m... I’m gay.” 

“Oh,” Eddie somehow managed to shrink farther in his chair, face flaming.

In contrast, Richie sat tall. He’d never felt so light before in his life. An immense weight lifted off his shoulders and Richie felt giddy. 

“So...” Richie said lazily. He relaxed back in his seat and turned his gaze on Eddie who was practically giving off smoke at this point. 

Eddie stuck his hand out again, his hand was shaking so Richie grabbed it quickly and before he could stop himself brought their joined hands up to his lips and gave Eddie’s knuckles a quick peck. 

Eddie sat up in his seat and glared at Richie but didn’t let go, “what am I, a debutant being introduced to my father’s wealthy business partner?” 

Bolstered by Eddie’s teasing tone and the revelations of the past seventeen minutes, Richie had a mad thought and quickly pulled Eddie forward, other hand coming up to wrap around Eddie’s neck and-

Eddie put a hand over Richie’s mouth and pushed away from his chest. 

Richie’s heart stopped beating. 

He’d misread everything. He’d just made it weird. Of course Eddie confessing that he wanted to look for a relationship with a man didn’t mean he’d meant Richie specifically. Richie had heard what he wanted to hear and now he’d given away that he was head over heels for Eddie. Richie let go of Eddie’s neck like it had burned him and tried to let go of his hand as well.

Eddie squeezed his hand tighter and grabbed Richie’s other hand as well, he drew him in and, very quietly so only the two of them could hear, spoke, “I am not having our first kiss be in the shitty waiting room of a random hospital.” 

The smile that broke across Richie’s face was one of pure relief. 

“Promise me you’ll kiss me proper after the appointment. Back at the apartment,” Eddie narrowed his eyes at Richie and stuck out his hand, pinky out. 

Something in his chest, something built up and compressed and buried deep down for years and years was finally exploding out of its tomb and it was everything Richie could do not to grab Eddie right then and there and kiss him until he had a reason to use that inhaler. 

Richie hooked his pinky with Eddie’s and shook once.

Richie felt like he could do anything right now, nothing felt out of reach at the moment. He sat back and wrapped his arm around Eddie’s shoulder. Eddie relaxed into Richie’s side and lay his head back where it had been. Richie rested his head on top of Eddie’s. His leg was no longer shaking. 

Something about all this felt unreal but Richie pushed any doubts he had away for a later time. They hadn’t even kissed yet, but Eddie seemed determined that they’d get to kissing after and, well, that was everything. 

It was another five minutes before the receptionist called Eddie’s name.


	5. Chapter Five

“The drain was supposed to be taken out two weeks ago, maybe more? You changed your appointment, why is that?”

Once called, Richie and Eddie had been met by a smiling male doctor, who’d led them back into his office. He’d introduced himself, but Richie was still in such a daze that he didn’t catch it. 

Eddie’s brow furrowed, “my w- ex-wife took care of all the hospital appointments and calls. I’ve been under heavy sedation for over a month.”

“A month!? That’s excessive... is she a licensed nurse or doctor?”

“No.”

“Hmm... I believe your ex-wife may have been... misguided in her concerns. The longer you keep a surgical drain in, the harder it will be to remove and infection from the drain itself may set in. Also, being heavily sedated for that long after a major surgery like that can cause all sorts of motor function problems and a longer recovery, separate from the injuries,” the doctor spoke sternly but it didn’t seem directed at Eddie. 

“God fuckin dammit Myra,” Eddie groaned, leaning back against the wall.

Richie’s hands balled into fists at his sides and shook, “She’s been keeping you drugged up so you couldn’t… so you wouldn’t... She-“ but then Richie faltered. Eddie looked tired and scared, he didn’t need angry Richie right now. 

“How can we make this as painless as possible doc?” Richie asked in his usual, casual tone.

The doctor smiled kindly. Richie reached out gently and gave Eddie’s hand a light squeeze.

“We’ve got numbing creams for the removal of the stitches, but the tube will be more painful... I’d suggest we give him a high strength painkiller and wait for that to kick in. He’ll be a little loopy for a few hours, but it’s the easiest option at this point.”

Eddie nodded his consent. 

“Alright, whatever makes this easy,” Richie smiled.

The doctor disappeared for a moment and came back with a tube of cream and a case of tablets. 

“Remove your shirt please,” the doctor said easily but Eddie flushed as he scooted himself onto the paper covered exam table. 

Richie was still holding his hand but let go, “do you want me out for this Eds?” He asked calmly.

“No I don’t,” Eddie responded and then quickly and clumsily removed his shirt.

His firm yet soft stomach was once more on display and Richie decided to keep his hands tucked into his pockets. Eddie had other ideas as he stretched out one arm and grasped Richie’s hand again. It was Richie’s turn to flush.

“Ah yeah, your stitches were also ready to come out a while ago. All your skin looks pink and healthy. At least your ex-wife was keeping them clean.”

He applied the cream and walked over to his desk to collect a pair of surgical scissors and tweezers. Once back he plucked at the stitches in Eddie’s chest lightly, “can you feel that?”

Eddie shook his head, “it’s dull.” 

The doctor smiled and nodded before proceeding to carefully pluck at and snip each stitch around each of the four scarring points on Eddie’s chest and sides and cheek. Then, with tweezers, he gently pulled at each thread. Eddie’s eyebrows knit together and his mouth formed a thin line. Richie came a little closer to the table, careful not to crowd the doctor's space. Eddie squeezed Richie’s hand harder. 

There was minimal bleeding, which was good, and the doctor made quick work of putting small pieces of gauze over the small holes and taping them down. 

“Now for the drain,” the doctor turned and grabbed the case of tablets. He popped two and handed them over to Eddie, “these will take away any major pain and calm you down, we’ll also apply some more of the cream around the entry point since there’ll be some skin irritation. Please lie back to wait for the drugs to kick in.” 

Eddie swallowed the two tablets and lay back on the examination table.

The doctor turned to Richie, “you can stand at the head of the table if you’d like. It’ll probably keep Mr.Kaspbrak calmest if he can see you and talk to you directly.”

Richie nodded and quickly made his way around the table so he was standing next to Eddie’s head. Eddie crossed his arms over his chest and breathed slowly in and out. The doctor rubbed the numbing cream around the entry point of the drain with a gloved hand and then proceeded to wait. 

After fifteen minutes Richie tapped Eddie’s shoulder, “How’s it going Eds, feeling anything yet?” 

“Fuuuuucckkkeerrrr, don’t calllll me... don’t call us. Don’t call us, we’ll call youuuuu,” Eddie’s head lolled to the side and his eyes slid open lazily, the words to the song dripping off his tongue in the wrong key. His hand came up and dragged down Richie’s chest, looking for purchase on his shirt. Richie sighed and gripped Eddie’s hands in his.

“He’s ready Doc, it’s go time.”

The doctor got to work at the tube's entrance. He first tried to see if he could pull it out gently, but once that option was clearly not gonna happen he pulled out a scalpel. Richie looked away and focused on Eddie’s face. Richie could tell when the knife made contact because Eddie’s face went from dreamy and relaxed to confused and troubled. 

“Riiichie, what’s he dooooing down therrrre?” 

“He’s just making a tiny cut to get the tube out Eds.” 

Tears leaked down Eddie’s face then and he rocked his head back and forth. 

“W-whats wrong, does it hurt? Can you still feel it?”

Richie heard the doctor pause behind him. He still didn’t want to look. 

“Noooo, I jus don’t want you to go...”

Richie laughed quietly, “You’re staying at my house, Eds. I’m not going anywhere.”

Eddie’s hands flew up and grabbed at the back of Richie’s neck and pulled him down into a messy hug. Richie’s face was crushed against the table and Eddie’s head was rubbing against his as he choked out his next words.

“When I sawww you all limp in the Christmas lightssss I w’s soooooo scared. W-when we sw’each other in the eyeball-cookie-food-place I didn’t remem-em-ember you, ‘t alllll. All those yers I fergt about you. Aaaand in one d-day I re-remembereddd you and I re-remembered ma chldhood crushhhhh. An I couldn’t let that dirty fuckin clown touch youuu.” His breath hitched and Richie tried to pull away a little, to see his face, but Eddie’s grip was surprisingly firm. Richie’s face was blazing with the knowledge that Eddie had had a childhood crush on him and his thoughts were getting all jumbled up in his head. 

Richie wasn’t sure if he actually had to make up a lie to cover up the clown business in front of the doctor, seeing as Eddie was so high right now he could say he was a risk analysis and the doctor wouldn’t believe him. Some nervous part of Richie still tried, “Heh, Eddie, you are having some cra-zy drug dreams my friend.”

Eddie’s breath hitched and he tangled his fingers into the longer back of Richie’s hair, petting and tugging gently. It was probably a stress relief thing for Eddie, but Richie was quite enjoying it as well, he let his eyes slide shut, “buddy... you’re okay, keep calm it’ll be over in a few minutes.” 

He directed his next question to the doctor, “Is this normal? Do the drugs usually make you weepy and emotional?”

The doctor huffed a laugh, “honestly I’ve seen it all. Some people get angry, some people laugh a lot. Getting hyper emotional is a common one as well. I’ve seen real stone faced guys balling, it’s natural. Usually just means they are under a lot of stress, or they were feeling highly emotional before they took the drugs.”

Richie hummed.

Eddie let him sit up a bit but not much so Richie propped himself up above Eddie on his forearms. Eddie laughed and booped Richie’s nose. Richie tried not to melt at how cute that was and focused on distracting Eddie. 

After a few more moments the doctor sighed, “done!” 

Richie extracted himself from Eddie’s grip and looked to the hole. The doctor had already bandaged it up, thank god. 

“Keep it clean, wash it every day and replace the bandage every other day. Once it’s healed shut you can let it breath. Do you have any other questions?” 

Richie was helping Eddie sit up straight and put on his shirt when he remembered something and grabbed his messenger bag that he’d brought. He pulled out the ten pill bottles and showed them to the surprised doctor. 

“Are any of these unnecessary?”

Eddie’s shirt was half on over his head as he glanced over with a curious yet glazed expression. 

He giggled, “Gazebos...”

The doctor scooped up the bottles and carried them back to his desk where he opened up Eddie’s medical file on his screen. 

“Well... these two you could have stopped taking after the first week, they’re just to keep you loopy enough to stave off the pain. This one.... you could have been off as well... hmm...” the doctor looked at each of the bottles, compared it with Eddie’s file and hummed every once in a while. 

Finally the doctor pushed one bottle forward on the counter, “really, the only ones you should be taking are the painkillers. It helps reduce the pain but also the chances of infection.”

Richie hummed thoughtfully before swiping the unnecessary pill bottles into the trash beside the doctor’s desk. 

“Heyyyyy!” Eddie exclaimed sloppily as half his face was still numbed and he was higher than a kite. 

“No more pills Edward. Your pill addiction has gone on long enough.“ 

Eddie giggled and slumped down on the wall, “Gazebos...” his shirt, still stuck off one arm, slowly made its way back up his chest. Richie grumbled and fussed Eddie back into his shirt as the doctor looked on in good humour. 

Richie paid and got Eddie back into his car with only minimal difficulties. Eddie was pretty easy to move around and lead, however, he seemed obsessed with holding onto Richie at all times. It made paying, walking and getting Eddie into a seat and buckled in a slight issue. 

Richie chose the smarter option and belted Eddie into the back seat. He didn’t want Eddie grabbing at him while he was driving. Eddie whimpered and complained about the distance but didn’t struggle. 

At a red light, Richie looked back on Eddie. He had been pretty quiet most of the ride and Richie wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad one. 

Eddie was sitting silently, hands folded in his lap, looking out the window. He didn’t look upset, he looked almost thoughtful, although what sort of coherent thoughts he may be thinking Richie didn’t know. 

“You alright there Eddie? Anything hurt yet?” 

“Doooo yoU remember in the sewer when I was stabbededed?” 

Richie sighed, he didn’t want to, “yeah I remember that buddy.” 

“And I said I fucked your mom,” after that comment there was a long fit of laughter that Richie had to wait out.

“Yeah bud I remember that,” Richie’s throat felt tight just thinking about it, Eddie’s laughter subsided into chuckles and then died completely. 

“I didn’t mean to say that,” Eddie heaved a great sigh and giggled again, “don’tell Richie cuz I wannaaa tell’ im myself when he gets back frm his trip to Mars, but I was gonna say ‘I love youuu’.” 

Richie’s mind went blank. His hands shook violently on the steering wheel and his eyes began to water. The light turned green and Richie tore across the intersection, and down a side street where he parked hurriedly. He climbed quickly out of the front and into the back seat. Eddie turned sloppily towards him, a little behind on what was going on. Richie pulled Eddie towards him and held him there, Eddie’s head rested against his shoulder. 

“I’ll tell you again when you’re lucid, but I love you so much Eds.” 

“Oh, wellll, I have a boyfriend so back off,” and then, with a small laugh and a sigh, Eddie drifted off. 

Richie sat back against the door, Eddie curled against him in the seat. He breathed deeply and watched Eddie quietly. Hesitantly, he brought his hand up and smoothed it through Eddie’s hair. When he was a kid he’d dreamed of running his fingers through his friends hair like this. Not a noogie, not a ruffle, a proper caress. He’d always been too scared, frightened of the implications and that others might see through his mask. Now Eddie lay in his lap, dead to the world and smiling. 

The tears that had been brimming at his eyes finally escaped down his face and he rested his head on the window. He let a small laugh escape him. Eddie loved him. Eddie loved him and wanted to be with him. It was almost too much to think about. Any moment Richie thought he’d wake up. It had been a nice dream while it lasted, but it would be over soon and he’d have to go back to the real world. But then the weight of Eddie in his lap pulled him back and reminded him that yes, this was happening. 

Richie rested his eyes. He’d wake Eddie up in a few minutes and they could go home. Just a few minutes. 

Richie woke up two hours later with a parking ticket, a sore neck, and Eddie drooling on his shirt.

——————

Getting Eddie into the apartment was an ordeal and a half but after the doorman saw Richie struggling he came and helped Richie get Eddie to his door. 

Richie laid Eddie back and then collapsed beside him on the bed. 

Within minutes he was dead to the world and only awoke when he felt a hand on his face, slapping lightly. He blinked his eyes open slowly and was greeted by Eddie’s wide eyes, far too close to his. Richie flinched back and groped for his glasses on the bed where he had dropped them. Eddie came closer again, eyes now hooded.

“W-what’s up Eds, do you need something?”

Eddie’s hand came up and cradled Richie’s face, thumb brushing over his lips. Richie’s face grew hot. 

“H-hey buddy... what’s uh-“ Eddie was getting closer still. 

Suddenly Richie’s brain caught up with him and he snapped out of his trance. He pulled Eddie’s hand away from his face and pushed him back gently, “Eds you are still coming off those drugs, you better lie back.”

Eddie whimpered, “you promised...”

Richie’s mind went blank at the sound Eddie had just made and he desperately tried to reboot it, wracking his memories for what he’d promised. 

He continued to guide Eddie until he was laying back down on the bed, and then he pulled the covers over Eddie securely, “what did I promise?”

“That we’d have our first kiss once we got hooommmeee,” the use of the word ‘home’ was not lost on Richie who blushed deeper still. 

“Well yes, but you’re really fuckin high right now. I’m not kissing you until you’ll remember it properly.” 

Eddie whimpered again and Richie’s hand twitched towards Eddie’s face. He finally settled them on Eddie’s shoulders and smoothed over them. 

“You’re gonna go back to sleep for a while, and I’ll cook dinner, by the time you wake up, there will be food to eat and then we’ll see about those kisses.” 

“Spaghetti?” 

“You want spaghetti?”

Eddie nodded, already losing consciousness once more.

“Alright, Spaghetti for Eddie Spaghetti.”

Eddie giggled and then passed out. 

——————

Richie made dinner slowly that night. Spaghetti was simple, but he wanted to make sure Eddie had slept off all the drugs because he wasn’t sure how much longer he could hold off kissing him, particularly because Eddie seemed pretty fuckin keen on it as well. 

Restraint wasn’t necessarily a foreign feeling. Every day of Richie’s childhood had been restraint, at least in a specific aspect of his life. It felt weird now, different. When he was young, Richie didn’t— couldn’t have what he wanted, couldn’t even admit to wanting it for fear of what would happen to him. But now, with the world around him changing, he felt freer to want, to yearn. And on top of all that, the thing that he wanted most was now within his reach, was reaching back, but he just couldn’t grasp it yet. Restraint wasn’t an oddity in Richie’s life, but the unbridled hope and joy accompanying it sure was. 

Richie eyeballed the spaghetti in his hand, mentally measuring how much would be adequate for two grown men, before sliding them into the bubbling pot. He’d already pushed apart the meat with a wooden spoon and it was slowly browning in the pan. 

Eddie’s slack face laying on his chest in the backseat popped back into his mind and he smiled, the corners of his mouth wiggling with the strain of holding back a wide grin. Then he remembered he could smile as much as he wanted and he finally let go. His cheeks hurt with how wide his grin was and he tucked his head down to his chest. With one excited pump he punched his hand into the air triumphantly and immediately smashed it violently against the range hood above the stove. Richie’s eyes watered as he swallowed his yelp of pain and slowly sunk down onto the floor. He held his quickly reddening hand to his chest and breathed in and out slowly. Then he laughed. 

Too loud apparently, as, a moment later Eddie came stumbling out of the bedroom, Richie’s bathrobe slung over his shoulders. He looked adorably rumpled and bleary eyed, but he was standing on his own, just barley wobbling with his cane firmly planted, which was a good sign.

“W... what are you doing on the ground? It's dirty as shit, and you’re supposed to be cooking.... you better wash your hands motherfucker.”

Richie got up slowly, still shaking his hand out, “I -er, hurt my hand...” 

Eddie’s eyebrows lifted slowly and he held out a hand, making a wiggling gesture with his fingers. Richie walked over quickly and let Eddie take his hand in gentle fingers.

Eddie’s fingers traced over Richie’s larger ones, smoothed over the knuckles, traced across the palm, and ran up and down the fingers. Richie shivered and Eddie’s eyes flicked up to meet his. They locked eyes, breath coming short. 

Eddie squeezed Richie’s hand right over where he’d punched it, “does this hurt?” 

Richie’s eyes watered and he yanked his hand back, “Cruel Edward. Cruel.” 

Eddie smiled wickedly and laughed weakly, “I’m just gonna... lie on the couch till dinners’ ready...” 

“You do that,” Richie made himself sound annoyed, passive aggressive even, but deep down he was bubbling with happiness. 

Any physical contact with Eddie now made him feel light headed. The fact that Eddie liked him back, that each touch he gave had meaning behind it. It meant everything to him. Richie remembered dreams he’d had as a child, cradling Eddie’s face and kissing him so softly. In his dreams Eddie had pulled back and burst into black sludge, but now... 

Richie marched over to Eddie and bent over him where he lay, half propped up on the couch. Eddie’s eyes fluttered open and he raised a brow, “dinner ready?” 

Richie took Eddie’s face in his hands and brought him close. He kissed him on the forehead and leaned back, gazing down at him. No black sludge, no sallow skin, or dark ringed eyes. Richie was met with pink cheeks and wide astonished eyes gazing at him hazily. He leaned back in and kissed Eddie on the cheek, right over his scar, which produced a light gasp from Eddie. Then he moved to his other cheek, his nose, his temple and his brow. He avoided the lips, although with the way Eddie was tilting his face and huffing, he could tell he wanted one there. He leaned close, hovering his lips over Eddie’s. Eddie’s breath came short and his eyes slid almost completely closed. At the last minute Richie changed trajectory and planted his lips on Eddie’s eyelid. 

Eddie squawked indignantly and scrambled for purchase on Richie as Richie pulled away, “you fucking asshole, come back here right now.” 

“Payback Eds.”

Eddie flopped back on the sofa with a loud groan and rubbed a hand down his face, “how many damn times do I have to tell you not to call me,” then he paused and sniffed, “is something burning?” 

Needless to say, the meat was a bit charred with their noodles that night.


	6. Chapter Six

By the time dinner was finished and cleaned away, Eddie had all but come off of the drugs from that afternoon. The only lingering remnant of the drugs effect he described was a tired lightness, although that could also have been attributed to the beer he’d drank. Against Richie’s advice. What a rebel. 

Richie and Eddie now sat awkwardly in the living room. Neither knew what to do or who should make the first move and the tension was slowly draining Richie of the courage he’d had before dinner. Finally Eddie spoke. 

“Dipshit,” he called out, louder than he’d been most of the day and it made Richie jump, “come here.”

The command was immediately followed and Richie quickly joined Eddie on the couch. He turned to him and made hesitant eye contact and Eddie returned it unblinkingly.

Suddenly Richie was 15 again, at one of their school’s many un-entertaining dances. The Losers had sat on a bench to the side of the gymnasium, draped in shadow. They hadn’t wanted to go, but their parents had said they should be kids while they could and kicked them out of their houses in ill fitting suits and ties. They had barely been talking, which had made Richie itchy and uncomfortable and watching the other kids in their grade dance around like idiots wasn’t as entertaining the second consecutive hour. 

Out of sheer boredom, Richie started casually poking Eddie in the side, and when Eddie glared over at him, he’d look away and act like nothing had happened. It was stupid and childish, but subduing his boredom took too priority over acting his age. Again and again Richie poked and prodded and whistled and twiddled his thumbs. Over and over Eddie whipped his head over and glared, shot nasty remarks and smacked at his shoulder. Richie was getting ready for another attack. He turned slowly, surreptitiously sticking his hand out, finger extended when, quick as a whip, Eddie turned and grabbed his hand. 

“I got you fucker,” Eddie beamed triumphantly at him and Richie realized this had become a game for Eddie as well and he’d finally won. But Eddie was still holding his hand and their faces were far too close. 

Richie had immediately frozen, face growing hot and collar growing tight. Eddie had laughed, leaned in a little closer, Richie’s eyes had fluttered closed. And then Eddie had let go, eyes going wide and mouth dropping open. Too close. He’d been too close. 

Richie came out of his revery with Eddie inches from his face, only this time Eddie didn’t look shocked or scared. His eye lids were hooded and his breath was puffing across Richie’s lips. 

Eddie’s hands came up hesitantly and curled into the longer hair at the nape of Richie’s neck. Then he pulled him forward and kissed him. 

Soft. Soft was the first word that popped into Richie’s head. Eddie’s lips were softer than he thought they’d be. Granted, he’d never kissed a man this gently before, so he’d just assumed they’d be... harder? Rougher? Eddie tilted his head to the side, and Richie shivered. His brain finally caught up and he tentatively parted his lips. He could feel Eddie smile into it for a second before deepening it further. 

Richie’s thoughts were fuzzy and warm and all he could focus on was the feeling of Eddie against his side and their lips moving together. 

Richie was on autopilot and didn’t notice his hands had made their way to Eddie’s belt until they were undoing the buckle. He stopped himself quickly and cupped his hands back around Eddie’s face, embarrassed. Eddie had other ideas as he quickly replaced Richie’s hands back on his buckle. Eddie leaned back for a moment; he was beat red but he looked determined.

Richie blushed and blindly went back to undoing the clasp and shakily started fiddling with the button. He glanced down for a moment while he did the zipper and then he stopped in his tracks. 

Richie burst out laughing and fell back against the couch, hands holding his sides to stop them from splitting. A tiny winky face emoji peaked at him from between the teeth of the zipper. 

As soon as Eddie had gotten over his shock and confusion he dove across the couch and started trying to clamp his hands over Richie’s mouth. Richie fought his face away from the persistent hands and grappled with the small angry man on top of him. 

“You bought them! You bought these yourself you fucker stop laughing! You did this to me Richie you don’t get to laugh like that!!!”

“Edward Kaspbrak! On the day you would possibly have to take your clothes off for the doctor you wore the emoji ones?” 

He managed to flip them so Eddie was now underneath him, but Eddie’s persistent wiggling proved hard to pin down.

“Were you already planning on seducing me this morning? Because honestly Eds, that’s hot.”

“Fuck off, fuck off, fuck off!” Eddie was bright red and karate chopped his hands wildly at Richie’s face. Richie managed to get one of Eddie’s wrists pinned but took a chop to the head for his trouble. 

Richie was wheezing by now, “I’m sorry Eds, but I’m pretty sure the mood has-“

Suddenly Eddie yelped in pain and hunched against the couch. Richie immediately lifted himself up and away from Eddie and let go of his wrist. 

Eddie sat up, hands shaking, and tenderly massaged his chest. 

“Need a pill?” Richie asked anxiously, already standing up and looking around for the bag he’d discarded on his way to put Eddie to bed that afternoon.

Eddie shook his head and gestured to the couch angrily, “sit.” 

Richie tentatively took a seat next to Eddie and waited. After a few more seconds of slow breathing, Eddie lifted his chin up off his chest and nodded.

“Alright I’m good,” he turned to Richie, “do you maybe wanna go to bed...?”

“Listen Eddie, I don’t think you’re-“

“To sleep asshole. I’m tired.”

“Oh. Yeah, we can do that,” Richie smiled, embarrassed. 

“I just want to... lie... with you,” Eddie seemed to be having a hard time phrasing what he wanted. 

“I’ll be there...?”

Eddie flushed, “with hugging and stuff..”

“Man are you asking me to cuddle?”

“Don’t call me ‘Man’, I had my tongue in your mouth two minutes ago.”

“Honey bun, are you asking me to cuddle?”

Eddie groaned and stood up, making his way to the bathroom, “never mind asshole!”

Richie quickly followed Eddie but he’d already shut the door to the washroom, Richie could hear water running. 

Richie frowned. Damn his nervous joke making. Richie went into the bedroom, stripped down to his boxers and a t-shirt, threw his pants and button up over a chair and got into bed to wait. 

Eddie didn’t take too long and he soon entered and started changing. The air was slightly tense, or perhaps Richie just didn’t like silence. As soon as Eddie was under the covers, Richie made his move. 

He shifted under the blanket until he was flush against Eddie’s side, wound his arms around Eddie’s chest and stomach and snuggled his face into the crook of Eddie’s neck. 

“God. I was joking, we don’t have to- to...”

Richie squeezed more firmly and threw one leg over Eddie’s under the blanket. Eddie made a few small noises of protest but then went silent. He reached out to the lamp on the side table and flicked it off. 

Eddie turned onto his side so his back was tucked up against Richie’s chest. Richie repositioned himself and Eddie until they were both comfortable and warm. 

“Night Eds.”

“Night Richie.”

Eddie woke once during the night, panicked and shaky. Richie whispered in his ear and rubbed his arms until he’d calmed down and slipped back to sleep. Neither woke up until noon. 

——————

Richie’s new favourite thing was waking up with Eddie snoring into his chest. It was quickly reaching one by the time Richie finally decided to wake Eddie up. 

Richie gazed down at Eddie’s slack face and felt a wave of affection hit him hard. He placed a kiss on Eddie’s forehead. Eddie didn’t stir. 

“Wow, okay, guess I’ll have to try again,” Richie sighed to himself, feeling giddy. 

Richie proceeded to plant gentle kisses on Eddie’s forehead until Eddie started to groan and shrink away from the repetitive annoyance. 

“Wh time s’it?” Eddie mumbled into the pillow. 

“One.”

“I'm gonna kill you, Am or pm?”

“Pm Eds.” 

Eddie groaned loudly but after a moment got himself into a sitting position on the edge of the bed and then stood up, stretching. 

Richie got up tiredly and dug around in his drawer for a clean shirt. Eddie wobbled over to his makeshift wardrobe and grabbed out a simple grey t-shirt and black jeans. Once they were in some semblance of dress, they headed for the kitchen. On the way there Richie saw his computer screen light up with three fresh texts and the trip to Britain came back to him in a flash. 

“Oh, Eddie,” Richie paused in the hall to make sure Eddie knew to follow before going into his office.

“Next week, or er, I guess this week, I’m headed to England. We’re having a big ol Losers reunion, minus killer clowns. You want to come?”

Eddie smiled excitedly, “yeah of course!” 

Richie grinned, swivelled in his chair and opened the chat. Bev had sent a photo of their dog, Ember, in his carrier case, all ready for the trip up. Mike was gushing over how cute he was. 

**Trashmouth : Hey guys!**

**Bill D : Long time no talk, where you been man?**

**Trashmouth : busy ;)**

**Trashmouth : Mind if I bring a plus one? Extra bed not necessary ;)**

There was a long pause and then a flurry of texts followed. 

**Bev H : Richie!!??? Are you saying what I think you’re saying????**

**Ben H: Richie this better not end up being a you’re mom joke.**

**Ben H : *your**

**Bill D : Richie when did this happen?? And yes you can bring them!!**

**Mike : Don’t take this the wrong way but are you**

**Mike : Are you okay?**

Richie frowned, confused. Then understanding kicked in and he realized the rest of the Losers weren’t privy to the blessed life he had been living for the past few days. After only a month and a half away from Eddie, Mike assumed Richie must still be messed up about it. And he was right, if Eddie weren’t at that moment leaning up against his chair back, playing with an unfinished Rubix Cube, Richie would still probably be very miserable. 

Evidentially, Eddie had read what Richie had written. He smacked Richie in the arm, “Could you not have started this conversation with ‘Eddie’s back guys!!”

“It’s not as fun that way, doesn’t build suspense!” He glanced at Eddie out of the corner of his eye and then frowned, Eddie wasn’t smiling. 

“Or... are we keeping this,” Richie gestured between the two of them awkwardly, “do you want to keep this a secret?”

Richie’s chest ached as he waited for a reply. Eddie looked shocked for a moment and then his face relaxed and he repositioned himself so he was leaned on the desk beside Richie. 

“I want everyone to know. As embarrassing as it is, I-I really really like you... so... yeah.” 

Richie’s heart swelled and he pulled Eddie against him, burrowing his face gently in Eddie’s stomach. Eddie curled his hands into Richie’s hair, tugging slightly. 

Richie responded in the chat. 

**Trashmouth : Yes I am saying what you think I’m saying. No this is not a you’re mama joke. It started a few days ago but we’ve really clicked. And thanks for the concern Mike, but I’m fine.**

After a moment of thought, Richie added an extra comment. 

**Trashmouth : He’s very excited to see you all!**

**Bev H : Well, we’re very excited to meet him!**

——————

Two days later, Richie and Eddie packed up clothes for a week and set out for the airport. After a lengthy Uber drive and a confusing and haggard dash through the terminal, they ended up at their gate and sat down to wait. 

Thus far, Richie had been keeping his head down and his baseball cap and sunglasses on, but as he sat down beside Eddie in the lounge to wait, he felt safe enough to take off the hat. 

“I still don’t fucking believe you need that stupid get up. If your comedy is as bad as what I’ve seen, no one’s gonna be chasing you for pictures.” 

Eddie had been complaining since they left the apartment.

Richie turned on Eddie, a little fed up, “You’re just hoping I’ll get noticed and you can show off for the cameras! Don’t worry Eds, now that we’re together, I’ll bring you to all my red carpet events!” 

Eddie rolled his eyes and smacked Richie in the leg with his cane. 

“I can see the headline now, ‘Famous Comedian Richie Tozier Shows off his Smokin Hot Boyfriend, Ednie Kaspbrak the Risk Analyzer!”

Eddie squinted at Richie, “Did you just fuckin say Ednie?”

“Yeah, the papers are always gettin people's names wrong, it’s sorta just how they work. You haven’t truly made it until a newspaper calls you ‘Richie Toaster’.”

Eddie grinned, “Did that seriously happen?”

“I still have the news clipping! I’ll show you when we get home.” 

Eddie huffed a laugh and relaxed against Richie. Richie rested his eyes until he felt Eddie’s hand lace with his. He glanced at Eddie who was blushing furiously at the ground. 

“Hmm?” 

“Okay so this is a lot all at once, but all our big moments thus far have been in random waiting rooms, so I thought I’d keep that tradition up and tell you,” Eddie took a breath, “I love you...” 

Richie’s heart hammered very hard against his rib cage and a wobbly grin broke out across his face, he leaned in close to Eddie’s cheek to get a kiss, “Hate to break it to you but drugged up Eddie beat you to the punch.” 

“W-what!?” Eddie looked frazzled.

“It was very sweet, I assure you. Best moment of my life really...” Richie gazed at Eddie's red face and smiled gently, “I think I’ve been in love with you since... god I don’t know. I think it was all in the summer when everything went down. That’s when I knew for sure.” 

“I think,” Eddie trailed off. He looked at his shoes, brow furrowed in thought. Finally he seemed to decide on the right words and he spoke, “I think I was all in since I was 14.” 

The revaluation shocked Richie and he turned in his seat to face Eddie completely, eyes wide. Eddie didn’t look at him, but he continued. 

“When we left and forgot about Derry, about each other... I married Myra because she was the only thing that felt familiar, that I knew. I think maybe I married her because she reminded me of my mother,” Eddie looked awkwardly to Richie who simply nodded and smiled slightly. 

The “no shit” that Richie wanted to say was held at bay for now. Richie was too invested 

“But really, it never felt right. So yeah. That’s it basically,” Eddie seemed to be claiming up. Richie leaned in close and gave Eddie a peck on the cheek. Eddie fumed and sunk in his seat, linking hands with Richie underneath the arm rests of the two seats. 

“I never said anything when we were younger because I was scared you didn’t feel the same...” 

“Well damn Eds...” Richie slouched too, “If we’d both just acted a little less like pussies, we coulda been holdin hands and swappin spit.” 

“We’d still have lived in Derry.”

“Oh yeah. I almost forgot about that place. Fuck Derry.” 

Eddie huffed, “Yeah... fuck Derry man.” 

A soft female voice spoke up over the PA system. 

**“Now boarding. Los Angeles to London. Now boarding section one and two.”**

“Well, let’s just enjoy the ride and get ready for the Losers to shit their pants when they see you! I’m betting Ben cries when you walk in.” 

Eddie rolled his eyes but followed Richie into line. Richie pulled the cap and sunglasses back on, which Eddie was about to complain about, until Richie took his hand. He stayed quiet after that.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter includes a homophobic women using "Queer" in a negative way. It's very brief and she immediately gets shouted down, but it happens. If you'd prefer to skip the chapter, it's essentially just Richie and Eddie flirting a lot throughout the trip and Eddie being stressed.
> 
> You can also skip to the ——————, whereafter it's just fluff/comfort.

Riding in first class was new for Eddie and he quite enjoyed it. He said as much to Richie as soon as they were seated and their luggage was packed away. 

“I could get used to this!” Eddie sighed as he sunk into the large seat, carefully reclining his stiff legs up.

“And you should! I’m on planes constantly! New town each night and all that. I’ve got mad frequent flyer miles. You should come with me sometimes!”

Eddie scoffed, eyes already closed, “I happen to have a job Richie. A job that I need to get back to at some point. I’ve just been given time off to heal.”

Richie leaned over so he was close to Eddie’s ear, “Sexy assistant Eddie! Think about it! I’ve seen that mini six pack of yours... you could open for me...”

Eddie eyes popped open and he glared at Richie, “Fuck you dude, stop fucking with me all the damn time!” 

Richie was taken aback, “Eddie I’m serious!?”

“I know the scars are... nasty. And I’m, I’m getting flabby now that I can’t run,” Eddie fumed and averted his eyes. 

Richie didn’t know what to do for a moment. He recalled a distant memory from their childhoods. They’d been older, around sixteen, and Richie and Eddie had decided to walk home together late at night. They’d ended up on the topic of what they’d like to be as adults. Richie really couldn’t remember much of what he said, but he’d remembered Eddie’s comment because it had made him sad. Eddie had said he was scared of being overweight like his mother, having even worse health and being stuck in a chair all day. Now Richie thought of his own slowly developing dad bod and then thought back to Eddie’s firm but soft stomach. He smiled gently. 

“You’re joking right?” Richie’s hand crept over Eddie’s stomach and then lifted the hem of his t-shirt, revealing the smooth scarred skin of Eddie’s belly. Eddie swatted at Richie and glared furiously. 

“Member when I said Ben was like a soccer player?”

Eddie shrugged and nodded, managing to grab Richie’s hands away from him finally. Eddie’s hands shook, so Richie softened his grip and gave up. 

“Well... you’re like... you’re like... god, you look good.” Richie spoke close to Eddie’s ear and Eddie rolled his eyes. 

“Well thanks Dick! It’s nice to know I look... good.” 

Richie grinned wider and leaned in closer, “Not just good...” 

“Are you TrashMouth!?” 

Richie almost had a heart attack as he jumped away from Eddie. Eddie sat bolt upright in his seat, eyes wide and hands shaking violently. 

In the isle beside them was a young boy, twelve at most. His eyes were wide and they were fixed on Richie. Behind the boy stood a very exasperated looking woman. Her short hair was bobbed around her face perfectly and her thin lips were pressed into a tight frown. She was glaring at Eddie. Richie’s wide eyes jumped from the excited looking boy to who he presumed was his mother.

“Uhh, yeah hi kid! I am he!”

“Oh wow, it’s really nice to meet you!! I’m Mark! I want to be a funny comedian too! I think you’re the funniest one!”

Richie relaxed somewhat and tried to ignore the icy stair from the mother. It wasn’t unusual for him to have younger fans whose parents weren’t jazzed about it. What was throwing Richie off was the mother’s gaze darting from Richie to Eddie suspiciously. 

“That’s great kid! I’m sure you’ll be great someday!”

The kid beamed and then his eyes moved to Eddie, “Is this your friend? I have a close friend too, his name’s Sam. We talk about stuff secretly like that too!”

“Secretly?” Richie asked, unsure where this conversation was heading or even where it had begun. 

Mark leaned in close to Richie and lowered his voice, “When we tell secrets, we get real close and whisper too!” 

Richie’s face heated. In contrast, the mother’s face seemed to blanch even further. Richie’s mind caught on an idea and a frown formed on his face. 

“This is my special friend actually. We do everything together. We live together even!” 

Mark looked interested, but Richie watched the mother carefully. His suspicions were confirmed as the woman gave a small hiss through her teeth and shot another glare at Eddie. 

Oh boy. For a week Richie had been living in his blessed gay life uninterrupted. He forgot he had to deal with these people. 

“Well, I’d love to talk more, but me and my good pal want to go back to our secrets. Do you want a picture?” 

“Yes please!”

The mother finally reached the end of her feigned politeness, she grabbed her son's hand and pulled him away down the aisle, “no that’s quite alright. My son does not need to associate with you.... people.”

Richie sat back in his chair and sighed, he still had bad memories from his childhood, but he was slightly more resigned to this reaction. That didn’t mean he wasn’t- 

“What the hell does that mean?” 

Richie’s eyes popped open and he glanced over to his side where Eddie had stood up. The mother paused in her exit and threw a glare back at Eddie. 

“You know exactly what I mean... queer,” she said the last work quietly, angrily. 

Richie could never in a million years repeat the resulting sentence out of Eddie’s mouth. Richie tucked it away for stand up material later on, but in the aftermath of that dropped bomb, Richie was more focused on watching the women's movements to make sure she didn’t lunge at Eddie, or even faint into the person's lap she was standing next too. 

Throughout the entire interaction since Mark greeted him, Richie had been semi aware of other people’s eyes on them. It wasn’t unusual to meet famous people on planes in Los Angeles, but it wasn’t an everyday occurrence either. Everyone around them seemed invested in the exchange now and Richie held his breath.

The woman looked shocked, the son's eyes were wide for a moment before he burst out laughing. Three flight attendants descended upon them from three different directions and in a five row radius around where Richie and Eddie sat there was much laughter and talking over one another. Eddie stood in the middle of the chaos he’d created, panting and glaring defiantly. 

“Welllll, you still want that picture kid?” 

The kid could barely get out his answer through his laughter but he pulled his phone from his pocket and joined Richie for a quick picture. One of the confused flight attendants took it while Eddie stared down the mother. 

After the kid had pulled his mother away down the aisle, with a shouted thank you, and after the increasingly frustrated flight attendance had found out what had happened and apologized profusely, Richie and Eddie were finally left alone again. 

“I think... I’m gonna sleep until we get there...” Eddie slid back in his seat.

Richie nodded, plugged his headphones into his computer and opened up his Stand Up document, “That’s a good idea.” 

Eddie found Richie’s hand under the arm rest and squeezed it lightly before letting go and crossing his arms for his nap. 

Richie tried to remember exactly how many times Eddie used the term “asshole priss bitch” in under a minute. 

——————

All the way through customs and baggage claim Eddie was distant. Or perhaps just more tired. Any chance he got he’d have his arms crossed and his head rested to the side but he never rested his head on Richie even when Richie offered. 

“Whot’s wrong governor? Not get enough shut eye on the plane?” Richie’s terrible British accent snapped Eddie back to himself and he scowled at Richie. 

“If you do that fucking accent for another second of this trip I’m sleeping with Mike.” 

“Col’ blimey! That’s harsh Eddie bear!”

Eddie’s glare deepened, “do not call me that.”

Richie’s face fell and he sighed, “Eds what’s wrong?”

“Don’t call me Eds either! My whole damn life I’ve said it, and you never listen!”

Richie steered Eddie away from the throngs of tourists and native Londoners and over to a sidewall of the taxi depot. 

“Kaspbrak talk to me. What’s up?” 

Eddie fumed for a few more minutes, staring off and down the road, but he eventually caved. 

“I’m tired. And nervous, and I feel sick to my stomach about what happened on the plane. I just want to get to Bill’s and go to sleep.”

Richie broke down Eddie’s complaints slowly and processed each piece carefully. 

“First of all Eddie. Fuck that woman. She was an asshole who you will never see again, don’t even think about her!”

Eddie was still glaring but his eyes looked wet and it made Richie’s stomach roll, “But the rest of the world is just like her too! I’m not used to this, dude!” 

“So you were married to a woman for years. So the world is a shitty place that is gonna throw a lot of assholes at us. I’m not gonna say our lives are gonna be fuckin rainbows and sunshine all the time... well okay rainbows are kinda a given with us now since-“

“Beep beep Richie.”

“But- but we have the best support group of friends you could ask for. Surround yourself with people you love and trust man. If there’s one thing I’ve discovered while being a mediocre comedian it’s that you have to ignore the haters and just live your life.”

Eddie huffed, brows still furrowed, but a small smile started to form on his lips. 

Richie grinned and leaned in, “I think that speech you gave back there deserved a Grammy, I thought that bitch would faint!”

“Grammy’s are the music awarded idiot,” Eddie rolled his eyes, but he leaned more into Richie’s personal space. 

“Music to my ears Eds, music to my ears,” Richie gave Eddie’s cheek a small peck. Eddie flushed and gave Richie’s chest a light punch. 

“You can sleep on my shoulder in the cab and when we get to Bill’s you can go straight to sleep. Bill switched me to one of the bigger beds so you’ll have loads of room to spread out.”

Eddie nodded happily and leaned up against Richie. Richie was thrilled and wrapped his arms around Eddie’s waist, giving his cane arm a break. 

“How many fucking beds does Bill have? Does he live in a fucking hotel?” 

“I think it’s Audras thing? Whenever her friends have to shoot in London she offers them beds. In total they have like.. I dunno maybe three full sized guest bedrooms.”

“Fuckin hell Bill.”

“Yes it’s a little excessive, but we’re going to be polite and complimentary at all their over the top rich shit.”

“Richie you’re rich too.”

“I live frugally...”

“How much was this jacket alone, never mind all the other clothes?” Eddie rubbed a hand over the wool lined collar of the bomber jacket Richie had gotten him. 

“.... not too much,” in all honesty, Richie hadn’t even looked at the price tags of anything he’d picked out, he’d just looked for things that would make Eddie look good.

“Richie...”

“Listen, nothings too good for my Eddie.”

Eddie buried his face in Richie’s chest and Richie could feel his heart expanding. He hugged Eddie tight, “my cute, sweet Eddie spaghetti!”

Eddie wormed his way out of the death hug and walked to the curb, “TAXI!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kept this chapter short since the next part is Losers reuniting :')


	8. Chapter Eight

“You stand behind me.”

“What, why?” Eddie raised a brow, hand rested against the door of Bill’s home, about to knock. 

“Because we can do that thing where I’m covering you up and then I step aside like TA-DA!”

“That’s fucking stupid, I’m just gonna knock.”

“No no it’ll be cool I promise just stand behind me.” Richie pulled Eddie’s hand away from the door so he couldn’t knock and tried to force the smaller man behind him.

“They will see me instantly,”

“Eddie you are so fuckin small man, behind my broad manly shoulders you disappear completely”

“I’m not fuckin doing it smart ass so don’t fuckin push it okay? Also we have basically the same size shoulders, your just above average length wise”

“Hell yeah I am!” Richie wiggles his eyebrows. 

“That is not what I fucking meant you dipshit and you fucking know it!”

“No no it’s okay Eddie, I am pretty huge, you’re right.”

“Asshole, I will-“

“Eddie?” 

While they had been struggling, the door had opened to reveal Mike, Bill, Bev, Ben and a woman Richie could only assume was Bill’s wife. 

“Eddie!” 

Beverly was tearing up, Bill’s whole face lit up like it was Christmas. Mike immediately broke through the crowd and enveloped Eddie in his arms, shaking. 

“Careful he’s all fresh and new!” Richie commented. 

“I’m fine, don’t fucking baby me!”

“My apologies. Guys, fuck him up.” 

Everyone laughed, but followed Richie’s instructions as they all squeezed Eddie in between them and held on tight. Eddie groaned. 

Bill finally pulled everyone inside the house and into the living room where they were pushed onto the sofa, told to sit back and relax, and then asked a million questions.

“So... I guess you were joking in the group chat then...” Bill said it with a smile on his face, but it was tight and unsure, his eyes darted from Richie to Eddie, eyebrows raised slightly. 

In response, Richie scooped Eddie’s hand into his and kissed the knuckles firmly.

“Nope! Eds and I are official.”

Everyone’s eyes turned to Eddie. Eddie looked away, flushing, “don’t call me Eds asshole.”

“Oh my god finally,” Bev breathed and sat back in her chair. 

“Guys congrats that’s amazing,” Ben’s smile was wide and warm and he squeezed Bev’s shoulder lightly. 

Throughout all the questioning Mike had been mostly silent, sitting and watching everyone else talk. Now suddenly he stood up. His face was a mix of guilt, anxiety and excitement. He looked like he was about to vomit. 

“Mikey?” Bill said hesitantly. 

“I have two things to say,” he took a deep breath, “First of all, Eddie I am so sorry I pulled you into that situation.”

Eddie had already started shaking his head, “Mike no, we had to-“ 

“No Eddie, if you’d have died... I’m-“ he broke off, his voice cracked. 

The group was silent. Sadness pulled at the edges of their comfortable evening and they gazed at Mike as he composed himself. 

“I’m just really glad you’re okay...” 

“Yeah, me too Mike,” Eddie sat back, his shoulder bumping with Richie’s. Richie wound an arm around the back of the couch behind Eddie’s head. 

Mike sighed and the shaky smile that crept onto his face seemed genuine, “and, I have some news.” 

“Did ya meet someone, farm boy?” Richie raised an eyebrow and grinned. Eddie elbowed him in the side. 

“No uh, I just got a call while I was on the plane over,” Mike took a deep breath, “Stan’s alive.” 

The reaction was immediate and overwhelming. 

Richie let out an unintelligible yell as Eddie popped off ten consecutive questions.

Bill stumbled up out of his chair and over to Mike, pulling him into a hug. 

Ben’s eyes teared and he sat back looking stunned and happy while Bev cried and laughed. 

Audra covered her mouth with her hand, a smile peaking through, tears pricking in the corners of her eyes. She didn’t know Stan, but Bill had spoken of him a few times. She knew what his death had done to him. 

Eddie was coming to the end of his joy induced question spree, “and- and just how the hell did you find out this information?” 

“Patty called. She had my number from when I called the first time and she said she thought I should know he’s alright.”

A collective shaky sigh was released. 

“Patty said that ever since he woke up he’s been asking for us... so since all she had in terms of immediate contact info was my number, she decided to give me a call. I sort of invited them here... sorry Bill, Audra.” 

“He’s coming? Today?” Bill’s arms waved wildly, as if he were already miming making another bed.

“Not today, he’ll be here in two days, Patty said they need to take everything slowly for a while...”

“Well,” Audra was already standing up and heading towards a hallway off the main living room, “They can have our bedroom of course, I’ll make up the pullout couch for Bill and myself.” 

Mike jumped in, stopping Audra in her path, “no, please. I invited them without telling you! They can have my room and I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Audra smiled and squeezed Mike’s arm, “you’re a sweet man Mike. I see why Bill talks about you so much,” she turned to the room at large and addressed them all, “He talks about all of you a lot now and I didn’t even know about you three months ago but now you’re all here and I’m just so glad, Bill is always happy when he talks about you.” Tears had started to leak down Audra’s face and Bill immediately came across to his wife’s side.

“Hon, hey. It’s okay, shh shh.”

Richie and Eddie watched the exchange from the couch, Richie’s hands had dropped from his face to his lap and Eddie was slowly kneading his fingers into Richie’s scalp. 

Bev leaned against Ben and he wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her shoulder length hair. It was getting longer again. 

Mike smiled at Audra gently and then glanced back at the rest of his friends, they all smiled back from their various couches. 

——————

Dinner that night was joyous and chaotic. Bill and Audra, and to everyone’s surprise Richie, stepped up to the plate and cooked a delicious dinner that turned out to be far too much but they were determined to eat all of it.

Eddie groaned, and got up, limped his way slowly to the couch and fell back onto the cushions, “Ok that’s it. I’m done, no more.” 

“Yeah,” Richie chirped in, “but Eddie! Don’t lie on your back right after you’ve eaten? Bad for digestion.”

Eddie glared, “I’ll be fine!” 

Richie shrugged nonchalantly and popped another piece of chicken into his mouth, chewing slowly, “alright, but if you can’t get back up I’m not helping you.”

The fumes were practically puffing out of Eddie’s ears at this point and he sat up on the couch, leaning over the back, “That’s perfectly fine for me actually so fuck you.” 

“Is that so?” Richie got up as well and made his way towards Eddie. 

The group at the table were left rolling their eyes, Ben smiled wistfully at them from over his glass. As a group they had collectively watched Eddie and Richie dance around each other all throughout their childhoods, now it was just nice to see them actually flirting openly. 

Eddie glared at Richie as he leaned against the back of the couch beside Eddie, “Yes. I am excellent on my back.” 

Richie’s brain broke for a moment and his collar felt hot, “Eddie you can’t.... say....that... in present company.”

Mike choked on the sweet corn he had been shovelling into his mouth and Bev covered her face, shoulders shaking with mirth. 

Eddie fumed and glanced around at everyone’s reactions, “Why!? What the fuck is so funny about-“ he cut himself off and clenched his fists at his side, eyes wide. 

“I heard it, and I retract my statement.”

The rest of the group practically fell out of their chairs, Bill was wheezing so hard Audra had started rubbing his back worriedly, wondering if the Heimlich would be necessary. 

Eddie stood up abruptly and took a hard step towards the door. Unfortunately, in his embarrassment he forgot to grab his cane, and the combined haste and ferociousness of his step, sent his knee buckling and Eddie plummeted to the ground with a loud yelp. 

The laughter stopped immediately and everyone moved at once. Bill and Mike pushed back in their chairs so hard the resulting screech startled Audra out of her own seat. Bev and Ben both cried out and Bev looked like she was about to dive out of her seat and over the table. 

Luckily Richie was already so close that he didn’t have far to go and he lunged forward and awkwardly caught Eddie in a side hug, twisting them halfway to the ground so that Eddie landed on top of Richie. 

Everyone rushed over and crowded around. 

“Eddie oh my god are you okay?”

“You guys okay?” 

“Man, that looked painful! Nothing broken?” 

To everyone’s shock, Eddie stumbled to his feet, beat red, and grabbed his cane quickly, “I’m fine. Thanks.” And with that he stormed out. 

Richie called after him once, “Eds!?” 

He got nothing in return. Richie rubbed at his back as he stood up. Huh. 

“I uh,” Richie glances at his friends, “classic Eddie am I right?”

Eddie was like that, always had been, but today something was different and Richie knew it. Eddie had been on edge since they left for the airport, and Eddie being on edge put Richie on edge. 

Bev’s brows creased and she nodded her head towards the door, “we’ll clean up Richie, you go make sure he’s okay.” 

Richie gave a thankful nod and left.

He found Eddie in their room, he was standing in front of the full length mirror, of course they had one, and staring at himself. Before he noticed Richie standing in the doorway, Richie watched him stomp his leg a few times on the ground, on the third stomp the leg gave out and Eddie fell back onto the bed. 

Richie took a hesitant step into the room and knocked carefully on the door. 

“Come in if you’re gonna come in, don’t fuckin hover in the door like a fuckin gremlin.”

“Hey, you’re the gremlin!” Richie tried humour first. 

Eddie didn’t respond. 

“My beautiful gremlin whom I love?” Flattery and adoration maybe? 

Eddie glared over his shoulder at Richie. Bingo. 

“My sweet beautiful gremlin man! You took quite a tumble!”

“And I would have hit the floor and been fine asshole. You didn’t need to fuckin dive catch me like I was a short throw ball.” 

“Yeah but Eddie, you’re still recovering from your surgery,” was apparently the wrong thing to say because Eddie stood up off the bed and rounded on Richie with a thunderous look in his eyes. 

“I. Am. Fine.” With each word Eddie punctuated it with a finger jabbed towards Richie, “I do not need to be babied.”

Richie’s mind clicked into gear, “this is about Myra isn’t it? Myra and Sonia!” 

Eddie was fuming, his hand came up and cut through the air like a whip, “I’m not delicate. I’m not fragile and I don’t want to be treated like I’m broken. I was basically held prisoner by my wife, treated like I was a delicate butterfly for weeks. I thought it’d be different with you Richie because you’re so- so- you, but-“

Richie’s stomach dropped and he saw, for the second time in the past few months, red. 

“Eddie you’re a fucking idiot you know that right?”

“OH AM I?” 

“YEAH YOU ARE.” Richie stomped over to Eddie where he stood, one hand gripping the bed frame for dear life. 

“I almost lost you, you almost died Eddie. Ben, Mike and I carried your bloody body out of that shit hole with a hole in your chest the size of my fucking fist. I held you while you bled out on me and I didn’t know what to do because the one person I loved more than anything was dying on me— in my arms and I couldn’t do shit. Eddie I couldn’t do a single fucking thing.”

The anger in Eddie’s eyes had drained completely and he just looked ashamed now. Richie felt bad for laying it on so heavily, but at this point it was all just spewing out like word vomit and he couldn’t stop it. 

“And when Myra came in and said we could never see you? I felt like my world was crumbling all over again. I felt like I had lost my chance at happiness. Again. So excuse me if I’m a bit worried that your legs seem to be giving out on you and you shake when you eat because I can’t lose you ever again or I’ll-“ 

Richie stopped. 

Eddie was crying. 

“Oh fuck, Eds I’m sorry, god don’t cry.”

“I’m not crying fuckhead,” Eddie limped forward until he fell against Richie’s chest and clung to his shoulders, “you’re the one who’s crying.”

And it was true, Richie could feel the tears sliding down his face. He shoved his face into Eddie's hair and breathed deeply. He smelled like Richie’s deodorant and shampoo. 

“I know you’re not fragile Eddie, you’re the strongest and bravest person I know...” 

“Thanks Richie...”

They stood in the middle of the room holding each other. At some point Eddie’s legs seemed to give out but Richie just repositioned his hold so that he was supporting his weight and didn’t say a thing.

“Bedtime?” Eddie asked, glancing at the clock on the wall. It was late enough to hit the hay so Richie ducked back into the kitchen to tell the others they were heading to bed and then they both climbed under the plush satin sheets and snuggled up together. 

“Can you please for the love of god, stop calling me Eds! I think I’ve asked you this one thing for our entire lives!” Eddie spoke half into Richie’s neck as he curved around Richie’s back, hugging his arms around his soft stomach. 

Richie sighed, “I’ll miss it... but I suppose... I can just start calling you by your name... it’s so boring though.” 

“You can... call me something else instead.”

“Whatever do you mean Edwardo?” 

Eddie’s eyes narrowed, “Don’t.”

“Don’t what Edwardo? I’m using your given name just like you asked.”

“Hahaha very funny jackass, be serious for two seconds, can you do that?”

Richie snuggled into Eddie’s stomach more and closed his eyes, “this is gonna be a painful two seconds but sure.”

“You can call me... I dunno, maybe... ugh this is embarrassing I don’t wanna say anything.”

Now Richie was interested, his eyes snapped open, “no no! Come on Eds- Eddie! How about I say names, and you can just say yes or no!!”

Eddie paused, “okay...”

“Okay hmm... Love Muffin?”

“Hard pass Richie. Hard pass.”

“Angel baby?”

“Nope.”

“jellybean?”

“Richie.”

“Shmoopsie?”

“Richie I’ll sleep with Mike I swear to god.”

“Ok fine fine... babe?”

“....yes.”

Richie’s eyebrows shot up, “honey?”

“Yes.”

“Beautiful?” 

“Yes please.”

Richie looked over finally. Eddie had his eyes squeezed shut tight and his face lowered into Richie’s back. Richie’s heart made a small jolt in his chest and he rolled over so he was laying half over Eddie, propped up on his arms. 

“Didn’t know you’d be up for proper pet names so soon...”

“Well... you’ve sorta been calling me a lot of these since we were kids, just never in this context. I sorta... like them, coming from you...”

Richie broke into a crooked smile and leaned down until he was hovering just above Eddie’s lips, “Eddie my love.”

Eddie looked like he was trying to decide between being annoyed at the reference, and being happy with the sentiment. Happiness won out in the end and Eddie pulled Richie down the extra inch until their lisp met again. 

“Can I have one weird one at least?” Richie asked, breaking away quickly.

Eddie sighed but held Richie tighter, “Fine.”

Richie grinned and snuggled into Eddie’s neck, “Eds it is!”

Once Eddie had tired himself out trying to smother Richie with the pillow, they nodded off, wrapped up in each other’s arms, Lover drifting off Richie’s lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This whole fic is just hurt/comfort hurt/comfort hurt/comfort hurt/comfort on repeat for a million chapters wow.


	9. Chapter Nine

Two days of relaxing and London sightseeing later Patty and Stan arrived.

The second Stan walked over the threshold, Patty holding his hand, it was like a pressure valve had been released. 

“Stan?” Bill said tentatively.

“Hello,” Stan smiles awkwardly at Bill, mouth a thin shaky curve. 

Bill came forward and hugged Stan firmly. Patty touched the back of Stan’s hand lightly and he let go and wrapped his arms around Bill instead. Patty smiled up at Richie who had come forward like a lost puppy, eyes welling up as he stared down at his friends embrace.

“You’re Richie, right?” 

Richie tore his eyes away from the pair and cleared his throat. He smiled down at Patty and stuck out a hand, “Yes, hello! And you’re Patty?” 

Patty smiled awkwardly back at Richie and took his hand for the shake, “I’ve become a little bit of a fan of yours over the past month, excuse me if I seem star struck.”

“Me? W-what did I do,” Richie still hadn’t let go of Patty’s hand and now just seemed to be holding it, he was distracted. 

Mike, Beverly and Ben were greeting Stan now, grouping around him and holding his shoulder, hugging him gingerly and ruffling his curly locks. Stan’s eyes snapped from one person to the next and it sparked a memory of Eddie’s eyes leaping in the direction of a sudden door opening or loud noise. Richie’s brow creased. 

“Well... when Stan was recovering he was quiet,” Eddie limped into the front hallway as Patty spoke quietly to Richie. 

“Boy are you slow for someone who can still use their full leg power,” Eddie clapped Richie on the shoulder, not noticing Patty as she was very much dwarfed by Richie’s broad shoulders. 

Eddie came around to Richie’s side and spotted Patty. His rueful smile slipped off his face and he awkwardly transferred his cane from one hand to the other to shake her hand, “You must be Patty.” 

Patty smiled gently and took his hand, finally dropping Richie’s, “You must be... Eddie?”

“It’s nice to meet you,” he gave a short shake before dropping her hand and taking his cane back, “I’m just gonna-“ he gestured towards Stan who was slowly getting ushered into the sitting room. 

As he left Patty turned back to Richie and smiled up at him, “he talked about all of you as kids and I looked you all up! We found your live shows on Netflix and your SNL bits on YouTube and Stan just sort of... binged. He watched your videos for weeks!” Patty turned as she talked and Richie followed her, movements and words. They made their way into the sitting room where the rest of the group had already parked Stan in the plushest chair, still murmuring and holding onto him. 

Richie was transported back to the sewer for a moment, to a Stan who was screaming, covered in blood and crying. Everyone crowded around him and held onto him back then too. If only they’d never let go. 

“After around two weeks Stan started laughing and I-“ Patty’s voice broke off and it took a moment before she continued, “After the EMT found a pulse I knew Stan’s recovery would be long and painful. I didn’t expect a smile, let alone a laugh, for months… Maybe even years... I didn’t really know what to do apart from listen...”

Richie tore his eyes away from Stan who was cracking a small smile and turned his full attention to Patty who also seemed to have her gaze transfixed on Stan. 

Richie swallowed, “I’m glad my stuff could help...” he didn’t know what else to say, he couldn’t even be humble about it, he just felt warm and choked up. Richie has been putting off thinking about Stan because he knew it would hurt too much, and at the time he’d also lost Eddie. Everything had been too much for Richie at the time so he’d shut down. Talking and joking on the group chat had been a pleasant balm on the frayed edges of the pit in Richie’s stomach, but it hadn’t quite been enough, not really. Since that day, driving out of the parking lot of the Derry Inn, Richie had felt empty.

And now… Eddie was with him, Stan was back, he’d been a key factor in helping Stan feel better. It felt too good to be true. Richie wasn’t this lucky, he didn’t get this happy ending. Ever. 

“Excuse me.”

He walked away without another word and he heard Patty give a small, “of course.” 

He made his way over to the group but stayed on the outside, not wanting to add another body to the group almost smothering Stan. 

“Stan the man, was wondering when you were gonna show the fuck up!”

The group went quiet and Stan peaked out from behind Bev’s arms, “still a trash mouth I see Tozier,” Stan’s voice was dry, like always, but Richie could see humour peaking through. Richie’s chest tightened.

“It’s a living,” Richie shrugged, and then his smile softened, “good to have you back Stan.” 

“Thanks Richie.” 

——————

Dinner that night was wild. The group slid right back into their childhood selves and were rocketing from topic to topic. The weather, politics, and gas prices turned to Top Ten Bad Movies, raunchiest experiences and bizarre Japanese advertising. Half way through a discussion on who would win in a fight, Batman or Ironman, Stan got up and excused himself. 

“Just need the bathroom,” Stan said when a sudden hush fell over the room.

“Are you sure you’re okay,” Patty smiled concernedly up at Stan and Stan patted her arm.

“I’m fine, really!”

Three minutes later when Stan had not returned and Eddie could see Patty was beginning to grow antsy, he got up and mouthed “I’ll check,” to Patty. 

Eddie found Stan looking out at the view on the balcony of their second floor guest room. 

Eddie cleared his throat and Stan turned sharply. He calmed once he saw it was Eddie. 

“I’m fine, really. I just needed fresh air. I was feeling....”

“Overwhelmed,” Eddie finished the sentence for him, knowing the feeling. 

“Yeah... I suppose you know how it is too, Richie said... he almost lost you?” 

Eddie walked over to stand by Stan next to the railing. He lifted his shirt to show the scarring and Stan flinched. 

“Oh, sorry...” Eddie let his shirt flutter back down, noticing Stan’s firmly fastened cuffs, “I didn’t mean to- bring up any, uh...” 

Stan huffed a laugh and leaned on the railing. He gazed out across the London rooftops and rubbed his hands together, it was chiller at night, “Eddie it’s okay. I’m not gonna do anything stupid I- it feels like...” 

Stan pauses for a long time and Eddie could feel his legs beginning to cramp and shake. He slid down onto the floor to give them a rest and Stan didn’t ask if he was okay, which Eddie appreciated. 

“How do you get used to... I dunno, being out? Doing things, being...” 

Eddie let him finish but he knew what he was going to say. 

“Being alive.” 

The words hung heavy in the air and Eddie took a deep breath, feeling his lungs expand. 

”All those repressed childhood memories, all those unchecked fears built up and when I got Mike’s call they all just overflowed and I needed to do something to protect... to protect you all. But it was so stupid... I should have just been braver, maybe if i had been, you-“ 

“If you say ‘wouldn’t have been hurt’ I will hit you in the shins with my cane. You aren’t a coward for what you did Stan.” 

Stan huffed but let the words die on his tongue 

“I’ve been sad and scared for so long, now that It’s weird... thrall is gone, I feel... I don’t know, lost?”

Eddie let Stan ponder for a moment before landing on his words, “how do you go day by day with the weight of what happened. Your scars are big, how do you look at yourself in the mirror without… remembering?” 

“I don’t,” Eddie said simply, “I still wake up with night terrors, I still can’t hear a loud noise without being terrified that it’s that fucking clown and,” Eddie smiled sadly up at Stan, “I don’t know if I’ll ever be fully okay again. Not fully... But, it gets easier. Gets better. For me I was lucky to have Richie.” 

Stan’s gaze was upset and glassy for a moment. Finally he sunk down onto the floor of the balcony, knees pulled to his chest. He huffed, “I saw you two holding hands at dinner. Congrats dude that took a long fucking time.”

“Shut the fuck up, I know,” Eddie’s frown slipped into a lazy smile as he thought about Richie’s big hands. 

“That’s the most disturbing face I’ve ever seen on you. Did you two get together when you all went back to Derry?”

Eddie huffed, “no I wish. It’s only been a week.”

“A week!” Stan’s surprise made Eddie laugh loudly into the night and he smiled so hard his cheeks hurt. 

Stan watched Eddie, “wow, so you really love him, huh?” 

Eddie paused for a moment, shoulders tensed, but then he relaxed and his smile went soft, “more than anything.” 

Stan hummed. The wind blew a little harder and Eddie scooted over a few more inches so he was shoulder to shoulder with Stan. 

Eddie thought back to what Richie told him at the airport and sighed, “it helps to have a group of good friends who will support you no matter what. And I think you’ve already got that.” 

Stan bumped his head into Eddie’s and left it there. They watched a few apartments turn their lights out before anyone spoke again. 

“My hands are getting stiff, and Patty is probably ready to call the police, we should head back in.”

“Yeah,” Eddie lifted his head off Stan’s and took his cane up, “yeah okay.” 

Stan pulled himself up using the railing and gave Eddie a hand as well. 

Stan moved to leave. 

“Hey Stan?”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t feel bad about accepting help. We all love you.” 

Stan opened the patio door with a soft smile, “yeah, I know.”

——————

Over the next week and a half Eddie and Stan had a few more late night conversations. Mostly though, the sight seeing took priority. 

They toured all sorts of old castles so Ben and Mike could fill their history and architectural hungers. In the Tower of London, Bill had to pull Mike away from the torture chamber, where he was meticulously reading the descriptive plaques.

London’s fashion district was avoided by Bev like the plague, but Patty, Audra, Bill and Eddie enjoyed an afternoon out in the streets, window shopping and actual shopping. Richie tagged along so he could watch Eddie try on clothes. At one point Eddie pulled Bill away down a side street and Audra and Patty swarmed Richie away to look at ties in an expressive looking shop window. No matter how much Richie pestered, Eddie wouldn’t say what he’d been doing. It was dropped after a small fight. 

An evening out to the Globe Theatre was secured by Audra who had a friend in the play. After they’d watched a fantastic performance of Midsummer Nights Dream, they all got to awkwardly stand around while Audra chatted with her friend and half heartedly introduced them to the rest of the cast. Luckily, the actor who played King Oberon turned out to be a fan of Richie’s so that helped break the ice and eventually they were chatting like friends. Oberon got a new Twitter follower out of it. 

Dinners at fancy restaurants, days out in the parks, bike riding by the river, Eddie almost making good on his promise to sleep with Mike. It was an eventful and fun trip but it was only two weeks and that was quickly coming to an end. 

The last night found them all more than half way into Bill’s supply of hard liquor, strewn around the large living room in varying levels of consciousness. Richie and Bev had started the night out with a shots contest, so they were both dead to the world, lying supine in their partners laps. Ben, Mike, and Bill were fairly far into their fourth beers and were getting slurred in speech, brains slowing. Ben smiled dopily as he twisted and clumsily braided Bev’s hair in his lap. Bill and Mike seemed to be in a heated debate that didn’t have a point or intellectual importance, so much as drink fuelled pointless banter. 

Stan and Patty were sober, Stan not being able to drink because of the pills he was on, and Patty had decided to “quit” with him. They were talking with Audra and Eddie who were slowly polishing off a bottle of wine. Patty and Stan sat in a loveseat across from the couch, Audra perched on the arm to give Richie room to splay out across the cushions, head in Eddie’s lap. Eddie stroked Richie’s hair absently with one hand, the other gripped his half finished glass of red. 

“So you just left!?” Patty exclaimed, staring at Eddie in shock.

“Hey if she was anything like his mom, I would have too,” Stan said matter-of-factly. 

Eddie laughed but it was more of a sigh, “she’s exactly like my mother... anyways, I went to stay with Richie, he wasn’t completely unbearable, and the rest just sorta... happened” 

“Well that’s sweet,” Audra cooed. 

Eddie squinted for a moment, trying to decide if she was making fun. After a moment he decided he didn’t care and he smiled down at Richie in his lap. Richie hummed and his eyes rolled under his lids. 

“So when’s the wedding,” Stan asked dryly.

Eddie’s head snapped up and he glared at Stan, face bright red, “we just got together, what part of that screams wedding bells!“ He could feel his hands growing sweaty. 

“Yeah, but you’ve been in love since you were 12, doesn’t that count for some of it?” Stan’s smile softened and he glanced down at Richie as well, “what do you say Richie?” 

To Eddie’s surprise, when he looked down, Richie’s eyes were open and blinking languidly.

“Wha?” Richie mumbled, still very much drunk. 

“You gonna pop the question Rich?” Stan called a little louder so that Richie would hear him. 

Eddie blushes wildly and tried to cover Richie’s eyes, hoping he’d go back to sleep, like a parrot does under a blanket. 

“Don’t force it dear,” Patty said, squeezing at Stan’s hand, “if they need more time they should have it. Marriage is a big decision.” 

“Mar-ge,” Richie repeated quietly. His eyes were still blurry but something seemed to spark in them as well. 

Everyone watched Richie carefully, amusedly, as he thought. Finally he nodded his head once, “Eddie Spaghetti will you weddie me.” 

Then he giggled. Then he vomited. 

The night ended soon after.

——————

Richie heaved over the toilet a final time, bile the only thing coming up. Eddie sat against the sink drawers, slowly rubbing Richie’s back. Eddie had wondered if he’d have to hold Richie’s hair back, that thought had made him laugh and soon enough he discovered that Richie’s hair was short enough not to need to be held. That was good. Eddie didn’t want to get any closer to Richie right now than he was already. 

Richie gasped shakily and mumbled something out. 

“Hmm?”

“Water?” 

Eddie got up and filled a small cup with water and brought it back to him. Richie gargled, spat, and sat back against the wall beside the toilet. 

He groaned. 

“I’ll figure out a way of getting you to bed, don’t worry...” 

“No-no I-“ Richie blinked hard, “the proposal was shit...” 

Eddie was surprised he even remembered that. 

“Well, when you're sober you can try it again,” Eddie said, not looking at Richie. 

There was a long pause. 

“You’d want me to?” 

Eddie’s eyes snapped to Richie’s, “of course.”

“Even tho-even though we’ve only been together fer a few weeks?” 

“We’ve already talked about this, I’ve loved you, or at least really liked you since we were 14. And besides, I really don’t plan on going anywhere, sorry to say it, but you’re stuck with me.” 

Richie laughed dizzily, “hey that’s my line...”

Eddie smiled, “Alright drunky, let's get you to bed, we have to be on a plane tomorrow morning.” 

Richie groaned again and rolled onto his hands and knees, “lead the way Eds.”

Eddie turned and slowly made his way from the bathroom to their room. Richie followed like a sleepy dog, trying and failing to crawl in a straight line. Eddie felt bad about not being able to help Richie stand, but Eddie knew his legs would give out the second Richie’s full drunk weight fell on him. 

Richie was asleep the second his head hit the pillow. 

—————— 

The goodbyes that morning took much longer than they had planned. 

Unlike their first set of goodbyes, in the parking lot of the Derry Inn, these goodbyes felt more friendly, less distanced and fragile. 

Everyone got hugs from everyone else, and then another round of hugs followed. Bev and Richie, both nursing hangovers, were draped over each other. Bev cuddled into Richie’s side, head on his chest, while Richie rubbed his cheek over Bev’s soft hair, the repetitive motion helping to calm his throbbing skull. 

They’d already added Stan to the Losers group chat, but Eddie was making sure Stan had his number so they could talk more. The late night talks had been nice for both Eddie and Stan. Having someone who understood, or was closer to understanding than others may be was a comfort that both men didn’t want to lose. 

Bill and Audra stood in the doorway, smiling and waving, long after the last car had turned the corner at the end of the block.


	10. Chapter Ten

The journey through security and the flight back was much better than the trip there had been and Richie slept through the rest of his hangover on Eddie's shoulder in customs. After Richie woke up he was on his laptop the entire flight, working furiously to get some joke or another down. 

Eddie glimpsed the word, “fart” briefly and then stopped reading. He’d have to edit this for Richie. Even if Richie didn’t want him to. 

After a brief stop at a convenient store that Eddie had insisted on, they reached the apartment and Richie unlocked the door. 

Eddie looked around the room, searched for something that would make this moment a little more special but gave up when his eyes landed on the garbage bag they’d left out before they’d left, “Well, I might as well kick this thing in the ass...” 

“Kick what babe,” Richie said distractedly, typing out a text on his phone. 

Eddie smothered his smile at the endearment before turning to Richie, who had put his phone away to listen. 

Eddie smiled at Richie. Richie’s eyebrow shot up, “what’s going on?” 

Eddie shoved his hand into his pocket and pulled out what he’d bought at the convenient store. A single ring pop. 

“Richie Tozier,” Eddie began but Richie had already seen it and he came forward with a shout. 

Eddie yelped in alarm as Richie scooped Eddie off the ground, cane clattering to the floor. 

“Eddie Kaspbrak I remember you saying I could try again last night! I’m supposed to be doing this!!” 

Eddie thrashed wildly, pushing at Richie’s face with the hand not desperately clutching the ring pop, “I thought of a funny fucking thing to do to propose and your ruining it!! Put me down you fucker!”

Richie walked over to the couch and deposited Eddie on the cushions, then he sat down next to him and put his hand out daintily. 

“Ring me up babe, I’m ready!” 

Eddie ripped the wrapping off and stuck the sour candy crystal into his mouth. Richie gasped. 

“That’s mine!!”

“You ruined it dickhead. My candy now.” 

In all honesty Eddie hated this kind of candy with a burning passion but he wouldn’t let Richie know that. He twisted the plastic handle so the candy rotated in his mouth and glared at Richie. 

Richie had the decency to look contrite, “I’m sorry, I’m a dumb ass and I didn’t know how to react when I saw what you were doing. I’ll let you do your speech now. I’d really like to hear it.” 

Eddie kept his stink eye trained on Richie for a minute longer before he popped the candy ring out of his mouth and handed it over. Richie immediately shoved it in his mouth. 

Eddie looked away because, ew, and got his thoughts in order again. 

“Richie Tozier,” Eddie paused and then sat back, “Richie when we were kids you were the most aggravating presence in my life. I was scared of germs so you shoved them in my face, my mom was fat and you would not let me forget it, it seemed like you did everything in your power to make my life as difficult as possible. When Kenneth Starnes pushed that girl in the mud in grade 7 and everyone said he had a crush on her I had my first stupid thought.” 

Eddie wasn’t quite looking at Richie now, but he wasn’t quite avoiding him either. Richie took the ring out of his mouth, his goofy smile softened and he leaned forward. 

“It was a crazy thought, and I spent the rest of that month rationalizing and burying it away. It was really fuckin hard to get my feelings to go away though so I just sorta gave up and accepted it as a stupid childhood crush. We only really had Bev and she was not my type.” 

Richie snorted at that and Eddie stuck his hand out, palm up. Richie took it. Eddie finally fixed Richie with a proper look. 

“Do you remember that one dance? I dunno what grade it was in but I think it was towards the end of highschool?” 

Richie’s heartbeat picked up, “the one our parents forced us to go to?” 

Eddie laughed, somewhat humorlessly, “Your parents forced you. I begged my mom for weeks to let me go to that stupid dance! I didn’t want to miss it because you all went and I never got to go to dances.” 

Richie didn’t speak. 

“Anyways, I almost kissed you that night.” 

“Wha-“

“Let me finish!” 

Richie’s mouth snapped shut. 

“You were poking me or something, I don’t remember, and it was annoying, but it was also sorta fun and it gave me butterflies because I still hadn’t gotten rid of that stupid idea that if someone bugs someone else, it means they like them.” 

He let go of Richie’s hand and rubbed at his leg, stretched it out, flexing the calf muscles. They were feeling stiff. Eddie shrugged and continued quickly. 

“Anyways, you poked me one too many times and we were at a dance so I was all full of punch and I was overstimulated with all the lights and the music and I guess I was running on that coffee I managed to sneak before the dance because I thought I’d be too tired to dance so I-“

“Breath babe,” Richie whispered. 

“So I almost kissed you but I chicken out and had a panic attack in the bathroom later that night.”

They sat in sad silence for a few moments, Richie licked the ring awkwardly. Eddie picked back up where he’d left off.

“Anyways, that’s the night when I sorta came to terms with everything finally and admitted to myself that I was in love with you.”

He cleared his throat and pushed off the couch and into a kneeling position, “so I don’t want to have to wait another 27 years to finally be with you properly,” Eddie reached into his other pocket, where the little box had been burning a hole into the leather. 

He pulled it out and popped it open. A simple silver band sat in a white felt cushion. Richie’s mouth dropped open, his tongue was blue. 

“When the fuck did you-“ 

“Fashion district man. I went with Bill to look at rings. I was too much of a coward to do it alone.” 

“Of course... I was wondering why Patty insisted I try on that three piece suit! Stupid buttons took forever,” Richie shook himself from his revery and focused back on Eddie with a smile. 

He stuck out his hand daintily, fingers splayed and wrist bent, eyelashes fluttered over his cheeks as he smiled down at Eddie smartly, “put it on me baby,” he was aiming for a jokey acceptance, but his voice was wobbling. 

Eddie scooped Richie’s hand into his and drew it closer to kiss it. Richie’s joking demeanor broke immediately and he hunched forwards over Eddie’s bowed head. He kissed every available spot on Eddie’s face and once Eddie had actually slipped the ring on he pulled him up and into his lap for better access. 

Richie held Eddie to him desperately, and when Eddie complained between breaks in kissing that his legs were getting sore in that position, Richie picked him up right off the couch and carried him to the bedroom himself. 

It was a little awkward at first since neither man was used to this per se, but it didn’t stop them from figuring it out pretty quickly and knowing exactly what worked and what didn’t. Not much sleep was had that night. 

——————

Richie stayed out of the divorce proceedings and wrote while Eddie handled it. He worked on his comedy in a hotel room they rented and he found that writing was far easier. Jokes came to mind instantly, and at night when Eddie came back to the hotel room looking tired and angry, Richie would test out his jokes on him. Out of the dozen he’d written, only about three managed to draw a small laugh or chuckle from Eddie but that was enough. 

Eddie had made a lot of good contacts in his line of work and one of his good friends was a divorce lawyer. Myra always disapproved. She thought he was “a strange friend to have if you’re happily married, Eddie bear.”

As soon as Eddie called Jon Watt, Jon put down everything and got the papers together immediately, he was never a fan of Myra. The tampering done by Myra on Eddie’s medical schedule was enough to have the whole process expedited. Spousal abuse was the words used and Richie thought, with a twist of rage, that it was a bit of an understatement. 

Eddie had come back to the hotel one night in a true rage. He threw his coat and bag down and stormed over to Richie. Richie took this in stride, eyebrow raised, waiting to see what Eddie would do. Eddie collapsed into Richie’s lap and started kissing him. It wasn’t unwelcome but it also didn’t feel right so Richie smoothed his hands down Eddie’s shoulders and carefully, gently, pried him away. 

“Babe what happened...” pet names usually put Eddie in a good mood, tonight they seemed to do the opposite. 

Eddie got up and moved to the bed, collapsed into it, back flat on the duvet with his feet still firmly on the ground. 

What happened was Myra, of course. She cried and screamed and manipulated. Gaslighting seemed to be in her main wheelhouse when it came to trying to convince Eddie to stay. 

“But Eddie bear... That’s the man that got you hurt! Don’t you remember sweetheart? Eddie bear are you really leaving your loving wife for someone that puts you in danger constantly? I thought you were smarter than that... fucking bitch I can’t-“ then Eddie groaned and rubbed over his face roughly. Richie saved, got up, and lay down next to Eddie. 

“Spill the tea sis.” 

“Only if you never say that ever again.” 

“Sorry I’ve been tossing jokes back and forth with a friend. He’s a drag queen, cool guy!” 

“Richie you know I’d love to hear about that but I’m so drained I can’t right now.”

Richie smiled, Eddie’s voice had softened. He linked their hands and moved his head until it was resting in the nook between Eddie’s head and shoulder. 

Then Eddie talked. 

Eddie talked about how he’d married her because she’d reminded him of his mother. In his own way he still had a strange sort of affection for her. Not love, it had never been love, but just a familiarity that had kept him in a sedated calm for all those years. Eddie told Richie how he’d tried to treat her delicately. He knew that her heart was broken. Richie thought, perhaps more accurately, something she deemed belonged to her was being taken away, so she was throwing a fit. 

That wasn’t to say Eddie was necessarily warm with her either. Every time she nagged or lied about something Eddie had a quick remark to shut her up. By the end of the day Eddie had managed to convince Myra to sign the papers. But it had been hard won and Eddie was feeling it. If Richie had been there he probably would have punched her. It was an awful thought to have, but the exhausted and broken way Eddie spoke just ticked something off in Richie’s brain. 

“I’ve been so deep in denial for so long, with my moms fucking mantras stuck in my head for years. It’s been...” Eddie paused, “It’s been hard to open up, I almost puked when I told you all that... stuff in the waiting room.” 

Ah yes, Richie thought, he’d have to send that hospital receptionist an edible arrangement. 

“Now that I’m divorcing my... my... my fucking mother, Jesus Christ, I feel so relieved and so fucking scared dude. I’m so scared.” 

Richie rolled onto his elbows and leaned over Eddie, “Eds, man, I cannot stress enough how... desperately in love I’ve been with you for all these years. I will always be here to talk to. You are never getting rid of me.”

Eddie’s wobbly smile shone up at Richie and Richie returned his own goofy one. 

“I mean, I snore and I fart like a madman when I drink too much milk! And when I’m truly nervous, like, seriously freaked, I will projectile vomit. Just,” Richie mimed puke spraying out of his mouth and hitting the wall, “exorcist shit, it ain’t pretty.” 

“You gross motherfucker, Jesus Christ, come here,” Eddie laughed into Richie’s mouth as he pulled him down for a kiss. 

They stayed at the hotel for another week, wherein Eddie successfully got Myra’s signature on the forms to close their joint bank account and packed up all his belongings into boxes. Jon was a huge help and they took him out to dinner to celebrate afterwards. Richie gave Jon a congratulatory fist bump that Eddie pretended not to see. 

——————

Over the next four months much was done at Richie’s apartment. A second dresser was bought, Richie’s office was halved and another desk was added, and late night brainstorming sessions were had on wedding details. They wanted it intimate and simple, friends and family only.

Richie took the job of writing the invites for the Losers and his family, it only took him around half an hour to finish up. Eddie wrote the rest. Eddie’s invitee list had been giving Richie anxiety, and he’d convinced Eddie to cut it in half and not invite his conservative uncle and aunt. 

The list now consisted of mostly work colleges and a few relatives Richie had never heard of or met. 

Eddie said he had a pollen allergy and Richie called bullshit and ordered red, lavender and peach roses. 

In retaliation Eddie picked out their suits. He chose two plain black suits with matching black ties, one tie slim, one normal. Richie ruined his “normal outfit” plan by picking out the most garish and retinal murdering shirts to match. After weeks of disagreements and arguing on placemat names, gift bags, wall decorations and groomsmen and woman outfits they both decided to just have the bare minimum. Bill, Mike, Stan, Ben and Bev were told to wear whatever they wanted and all extra expenses were canceled. Eddie did decide to keep the flower order. 

Two months later Richie and Eddie were in separate dressing rooms getting ready. Richie, Bev, and Bill we’re sharing one room, while Eddie, Mike, Ben, and Stan shared another. 

“I just feel like it’s crooked, or like, maybe too tight,” Richie commented for the fifth time in the past half hour. He gazed down at his tie, fighting with the knot. 

Bev walked over, “it’s not the tie that’s too tight, look at your shoulders!” 

Bev smoothed her hands over Richie’s shoulders and worked her thumbs into the bunched muscles there. Richie rolled his shoulders back and stood up straight. Bev had to reach a little higher to continue her ministrations. 

Bill came over, “man, you’ll do great!” 

“I know I just... this is too good. I’m too happy, something’s gonna go wrong, right?” 

Bill and Bev exchanged crestfallen looks. 

“Richie...” Bill turned Richie away from the mirror and held him at arm's length, “you’re allowed to be happy.” 

“Eddie is your happy ending Richie...” Bev added from behind Richie, she rested her hand on his back. 

Richie nodded, “I feel like... I’m so happy, it feels strange.” 

“We can’t pretend to know what this is like for you, but Rich, you gotta understand.. you deserve this.” 

Richie smiled wobbly, he turned to Bev and hugged her, Bill joined in a second later. 

“God how am I this disgustingly lucky...” 

——————

“Guys my stomach is in knots, I think I ate something bad,” Eddie crowed from the bathroom where he was brushing his teeth, tie undone and suit jacket off. He spit in the sink and washed off the brush, “I think it’s food poisoning, I think I’m gonna vomit.”

Cane in hand, he came out of the bathroom and was met with three sets of humour filled eyes, “What?” Eddie snapped defensively. 

“You’re not gonna hurl, you’re excited dude,” Ben smiled and sat on the edge of the bed to pull his dress shoes on. 

“I mean, he might still puke, from excitement...” Stan was leaning against a wall, suit jacket on but unbuttoned. 

“Guys be nice,” Mike laughed, “Eddie you’ve already been married, aren’t you familiar with the feeling?” 

“No,” Eddie exploded, “when I married Myra it was just- just nothing? I didn’t feel nervous, I didn’t feel sick, I just felt nothing, I thought that was normal!” 

“Eds, man...” Ben stood up and steered Eddie in front of the full length mirror, he stood behind him, hands on Eddie’s shoulders, “think of the moment with Myra where you told her ‘I love you’, for the first time.”

Eddie nodded. 

“What did you feel,” Ben prompted. 

“Uh, sorta, umm, I dunno maybe... nothing? Sorta sick I guess?” 

Stan and Mike came up to Ben on either side of Eddie now, smiling at him in the mirror.

Ben continued, “and how did you feel when you told Richie you loved him for the first time?” 

“I don’t really remember, I was on drugs,” Stan face-palmed and Mike turned away to disguise a laughing fit in a cough. 

Ben’s mouth wobbled on a smile, “Okay we’ll come back to that... Do you remember a time-“ Ben cough laughed as well, “when you weren’t on drugs?” 

Eddie nodded, “the airport, heading over to London,” Eddie gazed at himself in the mirror, looked at his friends' supportive faces beside and behind him, “I felt really nervous, and excited, and just... really... happy.” 

Stan smiled and placed a hand on Eddie’s shoulder, “That is true love my friend.” 

“Yeah?” Eddie was smiling awkwardly around at his friends in the mirror, “it is, isn’t it...” 

Eddie laughed, “I don’t even mind when he calls me pet names, I used to hate when Myra called me names.” 

Mike rolled his eyes and pushed away, “you never cared when Richie did it you sap, your heart eyes were so obvious.” 

Stan squeezed Eddie’s shoulders, “gross dude.” 

Eddie turned and swatted at his friends, “all of you are homophobic, get away from me.” 

Ben jumped back at a swipe from Eddie’s cane and the group laughed loudly as Eddie stormed back to the bathroom to put on the rest of his suit. The butterflies in his stomach were flapping around happily now.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Wedding.

The ceremony was lovely, heartfelt and, in Richie’s opinion, too long, but Eddie was smiling brilliantly the entire time so Richie kept himself in control. As soon as the priest said the words “you may now kiss the groom” Richie swept Eddie off his feet and kissed him so hard Eddie was left gasping. The crowd laughed and cheered, the rest of the Losers loudest of all, standing around them. 

The reception was held at a small rec room beside the church. It wasn’t a pretty venue, but it was perfect for their small group. Tables and chairs were put out for people to sit down, no seating arrangement was set and a long table against one wall held so much potluck food that it sagged slightly in the middle. 

Eddie’s cousin showed up, soft purple hair in a floaty bob around her head. She’d brought her girlfriend and was talking with Eddie, tears in her eyes. Richie spoke to her girlfriend, August, and liked her, she burped while she was talking to him so he knew she was cool. 

In between being congratulated by Eddie’s business friends he didn’t know, but appreciated, he found his family in the small crowd and went to them. 

They were standing by a side table but as soon as they saw Richie approaching they launched forward. 

Richie’s older sister Lizzy, or Lizard as Richie affectionately referred to her as, came forward first and wrapped her arms around her brother's shoulders, squeezing him close. She was only three years older than him but already had a lock of silver hair sprouting from the front of her curls. She also inherited their father's height and at 5”11 wasn’t completely dwarfed in Richie’s arms. 

“God I’m so damn proud of you, you little shit.”

Richie rolled his eyes but he could feel the pressure of tears building up behind them. 

His mother was next, sliding in beside Lizzy and squeezing his arm, “We’re just so happy you’re finally settling down. We always wondered... but no, oh, we’re just so happy for you.” 

“Be a good man for Kaspbrak, son,” Was all his father said but that was enough to open the flood gates and Richie let his tears fall freely, letting go of his sister to pull his father into a tight hug. 

His parents had always been a weird mix growing up. Supportive but ignorant. Keen on their children’s happiness, but wary of how they reached it. Richie’s hyperactive and attention problems weren’t diagnosed as ADHD and ADD until he was far into Highschool, but even before then his parents always accepted his nature and never belittled him for it. They encouraged his interests and made sure he had all the help he needed in school. Of course they were thrilled when Richie’s grades always came back high, but they understood when he struggled and didn’t penalize him for it. 

And yet Richie could never bring himself to tell them that he was gay. His sister only knew because she found him crying after he’d been beaten by the Bowers gang once, and even then they never talked about it. It was just a fact, an unimportant thing that you forgot and when you did remember it wasn’t of great importance. Richie appreciated that to a certain extent, but every once in a while, he’d wished his parents could know, could support him and help him understand it himself. 

Once the divorce papers had been signed for Eddie, Richie had gone to visit his parents and he’d told them everything. His sister had been there at his request and it had been an emotionally charged three days. His sister cried and hugged him, his mother had cried and hugged him so tight he thought he might pass out. Or perhaps that was from the blissful happiness that had overwhelmed him when she’d accepted it. His father had sat in his chair in the living room. He hadn’t said anything for a whole day. Richie’s mother had yelled at him at one point, tired of the tense fear that had settled over the household. 

The next day Richie’s father came to his room early in the morning with a book. It was Richie’s yearbook from grade 9. Richie thought he’d thrown them away. 

Silently his father flipped through to a student page and then handed the book to Richie. Richie took the book gingerly and looked down at the yellowed pages. 

Edward Kaspbrak smiled up at him, looking much younger than he was now. Five scratchy hearts drawn in black ink surrounded his picture. 

Richie’s eyes snapped back up to his father's face, searching for contempt, for disgust. 

“I knew,” his father said simply, and there were tears in his eyes, Richie’s heart stopped. 

“I knew but I didn’t say anything. I didn’t know what to say... I didn’t want it to- to be true but I- I was a coward.” 

Richie stood and his father grabbed hold of his shoulder and squeezed, “And I just, son I just want to say... that I’m so proud of you, I always have been.” 

Richie buried his face into his father's neck and a moment later his father joined him. Richie’s mother and sister came down to breakfast to find the two men cooking together, talking quietly and laughing together. 

After that little trip his parents had been very excited about the wedding. His father dug up any and all photos he could find of the Losers club together and his sisters bakery made the cake. 

——————

Eddie greeted each and every one of his work colleges that had decided to show up, clapped them on the shoulder and gave them a friendly, “Hey, thanks for coming.” 

Finally, on the other side of the small stream of work buddies, Eddie found his cousin and her girlfriend. Daisy, the brown haired spitfire, now went by Daiz, hair trimmed and dyed. Her eyes were still as green as ever. Her girlfriend couldn’t be more of a contrast, long blonde hair and soft brown eyes. 

“Eddie!!” Daiz said as she noticed him coming over. 

Daiz had been Eddie’s very first friend, but he hardly remembered that. They were born days apart, and Sonia and Kaley, Daiz’s mothers, liked to talk and let the babies play. Then Kaley and Daiz and Mark, Daiz’s father, moved away and Eddie only got to see them when they visited Derry for holidays and family reunions. Those were fun memories. 

Daiz was also Eddie’s first encounter with a gay person. Sure, he’d heard nasty things about the gay community from his mother a few times, but then, at a family reunion Daiz pulled Eddie all the way into the back of the backyard and made him pinkie swear that he wouldn’t tell anyone what she was about to tell him. Eddie loved secrets so he accepted. 

After that they became even closer. They kept in touch through letter and Daiz filled him in with her life as a “gay”. Eddie loved Daiz and no matter what his mother said he never got the feeling that what Daiz was doing was wrong. One day Sonia got hold of one of Eddie’s letters before he sent it. He wasn’t allowed to talk to Daiz anymore after that. 

Eddie really wished he’d still had Daiz’s letters when he was going through his gay panic. She would have made everything make sense. 

“Dude you’re glowing,” Daiz smiled cheekily and rushed forward to hug Eddie. Eddie smiled and squeezed her as hard as he could in his arms. August, Daiz’s girlfriend, grinned at them. 

“You do look very happy,” August spoke gently.

Eddie pulled Daiz back a bit and smiled down at her, there was only a few inches difference between the two, but Eddie was happy to take the win. 

“I’m just happy you’re here! Now that I live in LA we can visit more,” Eddie pulled Daiz into his side and she laughed. 

“Hey Eds,” he glanced down at her, “now that you’re out... that means I’m not the token gay cousin anymore... do you think we have a secret third cousin who’s straight?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about but... maybe?” 

“You’re so old... get Richie to tell you about memes, he seems like he’d be in the know.”

“We are the exact same age dickhead.” 

“Whatever. I’ll see ya when the music starts playing, I haven’t danced with you since we were babies!” 

Daiz went to pull away but Eddie held onto her, she glanced at him, half smiling and eyebrow raised, “Love you Daiz, you know you mean a lot to me right?” 

Daiz’s face split into one of confusion, “yeah of course I do man? I love you too. Just cuz your mom made us stop talkin doesn’t mean I thought you didn’t want to!” 

Eddie’s shoulders deflated and he let her go and excused himself to find Richie. 

——————

Bev gave a thumbs up from the wall where she’d hooked up her phone to the speakers. 

Everyone was sitting around the small room, at tables, leaning against the walls, and at the bar. Everyone turned when Richie and Eddie were forced onto the dance floor by Bill and Mike who were grinning ear to ear. 

A moment later “Eddie My Love” crooned out of the speakers and Eddie looked like he was ready to murder Bev as she smirked over at them. Eddie was just turning, fully prepared to follow through with his plan when Richie caught him around the waist with one arm and snatched his other hand from his side. 

“It’s a short song babe, let’s just enjoy this.”

Eddie’s face was tomato red as he gazed into Richie’s eyes. He slowly extracted his hand from Richie’s grip and slung both his arms around Richie’s neck, resting his head against Richie’s chest as they swayed back and forth slowly. It was Richie’s turn to resemble a tomato. Eddie’s hair was tickling under Richie’s chin, and his heart was beating fast against Richie’s chest. 

Richie screwed his eyes shut and buried his face in Eddie’s soft hair, breathing in. 

There were camera’s flashing as the song ended and applause. Richie and Eddie broke apart in a bit of a daze. Richie could feel Eddie leaning into him a little heavier than before and he wound his arms around Eddie’s waist and lifted subtly. Richie leaned in, because he could do that all he wanted now and forever, and captured Eddie’s lips in a needy kiss. Eddie brought his hands up to Richie’s face and gently smacked at his cheeks playfully. 

“Y’all are grossly sweet, can we play some bops now,” came Bev’s voice and they broke apart to shoot her the stink eye. 

Food, booze, music, dancing and so much laughter. The night carried on with Bev getting a turn to dance with Richie while Mike scooped Eddie into a fast twirling dance. 

Lizzy, August and Daiz got to talking and ended up doing shots at the bar until Eddie shepherded them towards the dance floor. 

Bev’s wedding present to them was a dog. When Bev revealed that little tidbit over dinner there were mixed reactions. Richie had always wanted a dog, and Eddie thought they were dirty little germ carriers. 

“I’ll buy you whichever you pick out, big or small.”

Richie smiled, “Thank you so much Bev.” 

“No. Absolutely not. You know how much dogs piss and shit?” 

“So do I but I don’t see you objecting,” Richie slung an arm around Eddie’s shoulder and Eddie squirmed away. 

“You know,” Bev said, smirking at Eddie, “dogs mouths are cleaner than humans.” 

“Is that true?” Richie asked curiously.

“I dunno, s’just something you hear...” 

“Great,” Eddie said blandly, poking around the food still on his plate, “that makes me feel so much better.”

——————

Africa by Toto was the last song of the night and by then only Daiz and August were left lazily circling on the dance floor. Many of Eddie’s work colleagues and friends had already gone home and the party had become family only. 

The Losers sat at a small table by the back of the room. The music was still playing, but now it was random songs suggested by the phone and not Bev’s playlist that played. Eddie leaned back against Richie and stared out across the small rec room, letting Richie play with and muss his perfectly combed hair. Bill, Mike and Ben sat at the head of the table, legs up on vacant chairs and belts undone with the amount of food they’d consumed. It appeared that they had been single handedly trying to diminish the leftovers from the potluck. Stan and Bev were talking about a possible bird themed fashion line, their conversation laid back and casual. Eddie felt the draw of sleep, pulling at his eyelids but he resisted. 

A light giggle from Daiz on the dance floor sent a whisper of a memory through Eddie’s sleepy brain, of his childhood, of happy memories. Of playing with Daiz as a child, of meeting his friends in school and thinking he was the luckiest kid. The days they spent relaxing in the clubhouse. Eddie reached back and threaded his fingers through the longer strands at the base of Richie’s neck. For a moment, as he looked around at his friends, he was back in the clubhouse, playing darts, reading comics, listening to music and snoozing in the hammock with Richie. 

It was all the same yet all different. The bags, the graying hair, the stubble and wrinkles and aching backs. Pennywise had divided them for so long, but the second they’d reunited it was as if no time had passed at all.

Eddie sat, a little older and a little broken, and so unbelievably happy where he was, with who he was with. He wasn’t sure how he was this lucky. 

Richie dipped behind him and laid a kiss to his forehead. Eddie tilted his head back to connect the kiss on his lips.

He wouldn’t question his luck. He deserved it, and he’d enjoy it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Richie's sister and Eddie's cousin were both just made up for this. I'm pretty sure Richie has a sister? Or maybe had one in the book, I'm not too sure.
> 
> But yeah, names and personalities were made up by me.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Five Months Later....

“Sooo, me and my boyfriend were flying with Delta to meet some friends.” 

There were several different reactions to that opening line. A few people even started standing to leave. Good, Richie thought. 

“Yeah I know I know, this is a huge fucking bomb to drop on my first show back... I’ve always been this way and it’s a part of me that I’ve had to hide for my whole life because of the way people would react! Thank you to the gentleman who is stumbling his way out of the middle of a full aisle, you are illustrating my point perfectly.” 

That earned a round of giggles and heads turned to stare at the retreating man.

“I’ve lost friends and family over it, I’ve had people beat me up, spit on me, call me names! But really, I’m just tired of lying... lying to myself, lying to the people I care about. I want my fans to know this part of my life, so...”

Richie took a deep breath, he looked out at the crowd. Against the glaring lights he could only see a few faces peeking out, but they were all smiling. In the front row Eddie’s face stood out like a beacon to him. Richie let out his breath. 

“Hi guys, I’m Richie Trash Mouth Tozier and I fly with Delta air.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The end! I hope you enjoyed!
> 
> As I said at the beginning, I wrote this throughout the span of an entire year. It was my first year of university and I had a two hour long subway trip everyday, there and back. I saw IT chapter 2 with a friend and I loved it but it also made me very sad. Sad with the opening scene and sad with the end. When I started writing this I was just getting out my emotions, all my grief and anger with that first chapter. The second scene I wrote for this whole fic was the wedding dance in the eleventh chapter. At that point I knew that I somehow had to connect the two bits in a satisfying way. It took a year but I did. 
> 
> And then life got away from me! Covid came on in the last two months of school, summer started, I drifted from the IT fandom and I just put this fic to the side, said I'd edit it when I had the time, said I'd post it when it was perfect and refined. I am coming up to winter break on my second year of university and I just couldn't have this happy ending burning a hole in my pocket anymore. 
> 
> AND SO,
> 
> I hope that you enjoyed my story, I hope you laughed at my crappy humour, I hope you teared up when they did. I hope you enjoyed Stan being alive and not dead thank you very much lol.
> 
> Have a nice holiday, this is my present to all of you in the IT fandom, thanks for being amazing!


	13. New Puppy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just some extra cuteness!

The day after the wedding Bev took them to the shelter and Richie made a beeline for a big golden retriever. After a few minutes of admiring the dog through the bars, they noticed Eddie wasn’t with them. They ventured into the halls of the kennel and eventually found him crouching beside a cage. He had his hand out, between himself and the bars, not touching them, just hovering, and he was talking quietly. Richie leaned over Eddie to take a look at the dog that seemed to have endeared itself to Eddie and felt his stomach drop. A tiny brown Pomeranian sat on the other side of the bars, head cocked, looking curiously at Eddie’s hand. 

“Uhh, Eddie,” Richie hesitantly placed his hand on Eddie’s shoulder and tried to pull him back, his heart was racing. 

Eddie placed his hand flat against the bars and Richie could now feel the sweat beading on his forehead. 

The Pomeranian took one tiny step forward and then, very slowly, placed its head against Eddie’s hand on the bars. It licked him once. Eddie seemed to deflate and stuck his fingers through the bars, scratching at the Poms fluffy ears. 

“Eddie...” 

“This one, I want this one.” 

“Aww what a sweetie,” Bev crouched beside Eddie and joined in the little dogs pampering. 

“Eds I don’t think that’s-“ 

“Richie,” Eddie’s face looked determined, he stuck out his hand to Richie, “come here.” 

Richie tentatively crouched down beside Eddie and put his hand up to the bars, he felt shaky. As soon as his hand was in range of the small dog it stuck it’s snout through the bars and rested it on Richie’s fingers, licking gently. 

Richie watched the small dog with laser focus, but no jagged teeth, rotting flesh or skeletal claw appeared. Just a small adorable dog. 

“Got your eyes on Tuna huh?” The owner was walking up to them from an aisle over, “she’s the sweetest. She was originally being trained to be a therapy dog but she couldn’t get the concepts into her lil tuna brain and the owner moved to a new apartment that didn’t allow pets.”

“Can we-“ Richie’s voice cracked, “can we adopt her?” 

The man smiled and nodded, “yeah of course, let’s get the paperwork signed.” 

They let Bev carry Tuna while they signed all the forms and then switched with Bev so she could pay the fees. Once Bev handed her over, Tuna found a permanent spot nestled in Richie’s arms. Eddie drove them home and they spent the rest of the day playing with Tuna in the apartment. 

She slept at the end of their bed every night and by the time they decided to take a belated honeymoon, Richie almost had a meltdown when they handed her over to the dog minders.

Tuna was far too spoiled for her own good, but any time Eddie woke from a nightmare, or Richie flinched seeing a clown, Tuna would be right there, cuddling up or barking madly at whatever was causing them distress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little fur baby.


End file.
